New Study Says Alcohol Is Better Than Exercise For Longevity, So Go Get Drunk

Chalk one up for the good guys, folks, because alcoholism is BACK.
There are two types of people in this world: people who enjoy exercising … and regular people. I have accepted exercising into my life as a necessity — similar to getting a good night sleep and drinking water — but I don’t enjoy it, not even a little bit. In all seriousness, who enjoys putting physical stress on their body? Well, to all my other normals out there, we may have found our way out: booze.
According to a new study led by University of California neurologist (brain!) Claudia Kawas, subjects who drank about two glasses of beer or wine a day were 18 percent less likely to experience a premature death. For all the non-math brains in the room, that makes you 1/5 more likely to survive. Excellent odds if you ask me.
As for participants who exercised 15 to 45 minutes a day? They cut the same risk by only 11 percent.
via Chicago Tribune:

The research track 1,700 nonagenarians enrolled in the 90+ Study that began in 2003 to explore impacts of daily habits on longevity.
“I have no explanation for it, but I do firmly believe that modest drinking improves longevity,” Kawas stated over the weekend at the American Association for the Advancement of Science annual conference in Austin, Texas. Other factors were found to boost longevity, including weight. Participants who were slightly overweight — but not obese — cut their odds of an early death by 3 percent.
“It’s not bad to be skinny when you’re young but it’s very bad to be skinny when you’re old,” Kawas noted in her address.
Subjects who kept busy with a daily hobby two hours a day were 21 percent less likely to die early, while those who drank two cups of coffee a day cut that risk by 10 percent. Further study is needed to determine how habits impact longevity beyond people’s genetic makeups.

And here I was, planning to go to the gym after work like an IDIOT when I should just have myself a light jog to the liquor store.
The more you know.
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