10 Things Fast Food Restaurants Should Never Sell

It’s a given that most fast food restaurants can’t be trusted – unless you’re obliterated. At that point, anything that comes within a two mile radius of your mouth tastes amazing. The next day, however, you’ll be paying for it.

But what if Burger King, Mickey D’s, and Wendy’s started adding non-fast food items to their menu? It’d get pretty gnarly, and we don’t mean that in the cool, California surging way.

We compiled a full list of foods fast food chains should totally stay away from. Check it out below and put down the burger… unless it’s from Carl’s Jr., then we’ll make an exception.

1. Steak

Hello, it’s not actually steak. The probability of you actually eating your neighbors dog is high, so steer clear. Especially if you saw the dog earlier that morning.

2. Lobster

Earth to McDonald’s: who the f*ck are you kidding?! You really expect us to believe that you wrangled in some fresh water lobster for your lobster rolls?! Nice try.

3. Gourmet Desserts

Do we want to stuff our faces with Crème brûlée on the reg? Yes. Do we want to crack open that delicious, hard, sugar top to find a leftover bug no one could kill while cooking? No.

4. Curry

Curry gives you the runs as it is… do you really want to trust that in the hands of a person working in the fast food industry? We didn’t think so.

5. Sushi

Why don’t you get some from 7-11 too, while you’re at it?

6. Veggie Burgers

No one should be ordering a veggie burger to begin with, so get your sh*t together. Not to mention, picking up the leftover scraps that fell out of the fatty burgers doesn’t qualify as a legitimate veggie burger.

7. Milkshakes

We know, we know – you’ve probably already had a couple dozen of these suckers this year and they taste delicious. But McDonald’s has faced major backlash for mixing random ingredients into their machines, specifically “sugar infused plastic.” So it goes without saying that they aren’t fresh or natural, and we wouldn’t be surprised if some of those chunks were actually just curdled milk.

8. Pork

Or any type of meat, really. Because let’s be honest – that’s just not what you’re getting. And why put your bowels through that?

9. Eggs

Eating an egg sandwich from a fast food joint sounds like a quick and easy way to start your day, but rather than eating an actual egg, you’re eating a bunch of laxatives mushed together and colored with dye. Or so we assume. So to think about these places selling fresh egg dishes, like eggs florentine or full-on omelets, is nauseating.

10. Pâté

Fancy rich people looooove themselves some Pâté, despite the fact that it looks like dog food. And even though the majority of fast food products start out looking similar, you couldn’t pay us enough to eat this paste at a 5-star restaurant, let alone when served through a takeout window.

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