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If You’re Going To Steal 30K Of Something, Might As Well Steal 30,000 … Condoms?

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This may be a little strange, but I’ve always secretly wondered to myself that if I were a criminal, what would be my speciality?

Banks are too cliche, and I don’t know enough good looking dudes to rob a Las Vegas casino.

I’d probably rob armored cars, and I’d use a bike. Think of The Town, only in New York City and on two wheels. I would explain further, but I don’t want to detail too much of my plan, just in case the feds are watching (which they are — stay woke).

Anyway, I take you to Las Vegas, because of course, where two Llyod and Harry-seeming dudes decided to steal a bunch of condoms. I mean, I’ve stolen condoms from roommates and whatnot, but I never ever considered going the Costco option and buying them in bulk. I do well for myself, but these guys must be F*CKING for real. Good on them.

via CNN:

The Sin City warehouse of a Swedish sex toy company was hit by thieves over the Memorial Day weekend — not once, but twice. In the first theft on Friday night, the bandits broke in and stole boxes containing 30,000 condoms.
But somehow, even in Vegas, that wasn’t enough. On Saturday morning, thieves returned and rammed a vehicle through a delivery door. This time they grabbed boxes containing $15,000 worth of sex toys.
In a good-natured blog post about the thefts on its website, sex toy company Lelo had only one question after the break-ins: “What kind of party are these people having? We could have done the sponsorship or something.” In its post Lelo also called the thieves “the horniest criminals in world history.”
Lelo representative Davor Solvo had a sense of humor about the thefts, saying that whoever took the condoms and sex toys probably didn’t grab them “for testing purposes.”
The robbery is currently being investigated by the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department.
COED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me - eric.italiano@teamcoed.com