magnifier menu chevron-left chevron-right chevron-up comment chevron-up chat_bubble_outline2 share thumbs-up thumbs-down chevron-down

Florida (!) Teen Turns Himself In After RKO’ing That Elderly Lady

||

Come on, Florida. Really? I know I pile on sometimes, but when I first saw this video yesterday, I didn’t even CONSIDER the possibility that it happened in America’s bunghole. But, lo and behold, it was, and here we are, piling on Florida again.

Yesterday, I came in pretty hot with this article about a disrespectful, no-good POS essentially RKO’ing an elderly woman stranger for asking them to turn the music down.

It was horrible, disgusting, and one of the more disturbing things I’ve seen since I started working here. In the article, I asked how many years should they give the dude, presenting the options of 1, 5, 10, and 20. In my eyes, it was essentially aggravated assault.

However, today, a little more information has come out — the man responsible is not a man at all, but a teen. Sure, he’s 16 years old, but 16 is prime bad decision-making time. So, while I don’t absolve the kid for his actions, I’m less incensed knowing he was just a stupid kid. But, how do I know he’s just a 16-year-old kid? Because he turned himself in.

Via CBS Miami:

Nancy James is a board member at the Players Place Townhomes in North Lauderdale. She said she went to the pool area at the complex to warn a partying crowd that they needed to turn down their volume. Seconds later, as the crowd ganged up on James, a man in a red shirt picked up James. He appeared to slip on the wet ground and slammed her to the ground. Then he picked her up again and threw her and one of her dogs into the pool.

James has bruises on her shoulder and leg, but she says she’s OK now that the teen turned himself in. Broward’s Sheriff’s Office said the 16-year-old arrived at the North Lauderdale substation with his mom and attorney by his side on Monday evening. The teen is being charged with battery on a person 65 years of age or older and is being held at the Juvenile Assessment Center in Fort Lauderdale.

According to the BSO arrest report, the teen admitted what he did. “I messed up and I have to own up to it,” the report quotes him saying. The report added the teen’s mother brought along the red shirt her son was wearing in the video as evidence.

So, good on this kid for doing the right thing and owning up to his crime, but what’s up with mom being a grade-A snitch about the whole thing? Like, f*ck mom, I’m already turning myself in, you really gotta bring some evidence? What’s the point? Real bitch move on mom’s part if you ask me.

COED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me - eric.italiano@teamcoed.com