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Captain Sully Needs To Sue Canada For Only Giving This Drunken Pilot 8 Months

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via Shutterstock

Via Calgary Herald: Miroslav Gronych, a 37-year-old pilot who was so drunk that he fell asleep in the cockpit before takeoff, was sentenced to serve eight months in a Canadian jail on Monday, April 3.

Gronych, 37, pleaded guilty to having care and control of an aircraft while he had a blood alcohol level three times the legal limit. Gronych, a Slovakian pilot, was escorted off a Sunwing Airlines plane in Calgary on December 31, 2016, before a scheduled flight to Cancun, Mexico.

According to court records, when Gronych got on the plane, he struggled to hang up his coat, was slurring his words, and was struggling to walk. After Gronych’s co-pilot suggested Gronych leave the plane, he returned to the cockpit, sat down, and passed out with his face leaning against the window.

Furthermore, a maid found an empty 26-ounce bottle of vodka in Gronych’s Delta Airport hotel room.

With all the attention we’ve been paying to Mexico the last couple of years, I think it’s time we set our sights to the north, because Canada may have Canada-ed a little too hard this time. Sure, Mexico might be shipping over crack heads and murderers (not really) by the thousands, but it’s Canada that basically just committed an act of war.

Remember 9/11? Me too. And you know who else does? Canada. And Canada knows that planes are like America’s version of kryptonite. Why do you think the TSA is constantly sticking their fingers up people’s asses? Those guys have the hardest job in the country, they’re protecting our greatest weakness: airports and airplanes.

Which is all the more reason why Canada needs to quit f*cking around with their airports. You can’t have drunken Slovakians almost flying a plane over the States and not give them at least a calendar year. Americans get thrown in jail for buying weed from Canada for longer than 8 months, so it’s time Canada reciprocated the favor.

I mean, just look America’s own Captain Sullenberger and everything he had to go through. They made an entire f*cking movie about the bullshit this guy had to go through for soberly SAVING a bunch of lives, and you’re telling me Canada giving a dude 8 months for literally the exact opposite of that isn’t an act of war?

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  • COED Writer
    A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me - eric.italiano@teamcoed.com
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