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The Party-Pooping US Government Just Shut Down ‘Backpage’ (Not That We Know What This Is)

via Shutterstock

via Shutterstock

Any dude who’s a true bro has at least heard of Backpage. Except for me, cause I’m a church going virgin who goes to sleep before 9:00 P.M. But everyone else out there has definitely heard of it. If you haven’t, I’ll hit you with the quick synopsis: Backpage is one of the world’s largest classified websites and has been helping crusty, fat people pay to get laid for decades. In my opinion, it’s essentially a humanitarian NPO, that’s how much good it brings to the world. But, because the US Government totally doesn’t have bigger fish to fry, they decided to shut them down.

Via NBC:

The Texas-based web portal posted a red banner headline over its adult listings with the word “CENSORED,” adding in a statement that it had removed the section “as the direct result of unconstitutional government censorship.”

It follows efforts by government officials to close a service they contend promotes prostitution and human trafficking.

The bipartisan Senate Investigations Subcommittee report, which was published late Monday, said Backpage has “knowingly concealed evidence of criminality by systematically editing its adult ads” for up to a decade.

Can’t we have anything nice?! The US needs to quit picking on Backpage and start focusing on important things like the fact that we’re getting absolutely lapped by Russia in the hacking game.

  • COED Writer
    A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me -