Goldberg returns to the bright lights of Monday Night Raw looking to confront “The Beast Incarnate” Brock Lesnar. Let that sink in for a moment. This will be an absolutely epic encounter, and I’m being completely modest here. That is if Lesnar is even there. Goldberg will return to prime-time cable television and could potentially tangle with “The Night Mayor of Suplex City” BROCK LESNAR! I bet most of you heard that last part in Paul Heyman’s voice. If you need a reminder on how Heyman sounds, I’ll throw up a video. But really, I just wanted an excuse to include a video of the former ECW Chairman, at times, screaming Lesnar’s name. This video proves why Heyman is the ultimate hype-man:
WWE Monday Night Raw Results
Intro segment: Mick Foley starts the show off. Kevin Owens and Y2J come down to the ring and start spouting off at the mouth. They are dismayed by Foley’s treatment of both of them. Y2J is hilarious with his “sexy pinata” line. Mick wants to put Y2J in the “cage of Jericho” and lock him in, maaaannnnn. He is referring to the WWE Universal Championship match at the Royal Rumble, where Chris Jericho will be suspended above the ring in a shark tank during the match.
Breaking News: Mick Foley announces the first episode of The Kevin Owens Show will premiere tonight on Raw. The first guest of The Kevin Owens Show is Goldberg. And then, Stephanie McMahon’s music hits and she joins this frenzied and hilarious segment. She announces Roman Reigns will defend the United States Championship against Roman Reigns. If Reigns is disqualified or counted out, he will lose his championship. “There has to be a winner,” says Stephanie. The loser between Owens vs. Rollins will be banned from ringside in the U.S. title match.
1st edition of “The Kevin Owens Show” featuring Bill Golberg
Breaking News: Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker are both confirmed for next weeks Raw. Mark your calendars on January 9th for the return of the deadman and the heartbreak kid.
Back to The Kevin Owens Show: Chris Jericho is absolutely hilarious. Tampa Bay just made the list. Bill Goldberg then came out and torn sh*t up. Goldberg threw a lawn chair and tried to intimidate Owens and Y2J with the words “spear” and “jackhammer.” Owens started throwing furniture too and got in Goldberg’s face. Bill told Big Kev to take a shot, but Paul Heyman’s music hit before any fight broke out. He said Brock Lesnar isn’t here tonight. Bummer, huh?
Roman Reigns comes out and gets booed. He still seems out of place in the main event segment. Goldberg and Reigns stared off to tease a potential showdown (I talked about a battle of the spears earlier in the night). Soon Braun Strowman comes out to join everyone in the ring. Reigns and Goldberg did a double spear on Strowman to end the show. Big bad Braun fell.
#1 Contender Match for the WWE Raw Women’s Championship: Bayley vs. Nia Jax
Nia Jax was very dominant in this match. But Bayley has a lot of heart. Nia looked like she was going to pull Bayley pass out, as she rag-dolled the smaller wrestler. Nia Jax took it to the top ropes, but she got distracted when Sasha Banks theme song hits. The purple-haired superstar distracted Jax long enough for Bayley to capitalize and hit Nia with the bayley-to-belly off the top ropes. Bayley is now the new #1 contender for the WWE Raw Women’s Championship. She will go onto the Alamo Dome at the Royal Rumble to face “The Queen” Charlotte.
Bayley defeats Nia Jax to become #1 contender for the WWE Raw Women’s Championship
Big Cass w/Enzo vs. Rusev & Jinder Mahal
This was suppose to be a tag team match, but since Enzo is in a wheelchair, it was forced to be a handicap match. But Mahal did slap Enzo once or twice by ringside for good measure. Cass is really strong and took the fight to both men. But the numbers game was against this seven-foot tall New Yorker and he fell to Rusev.
Rusev & Jinder Mahal defeat Big Cass
Raw Fallout Interview:
Brian Kendrick vs. TJ Perkins
This was an awesome match. Just awesome. That’s all I have to say. Okay, I’ll add this: both men were flying through the air and grappling on the mat, creating a portrait of professional wrestling for their audience. In the end, Perkins made Kendrick tap the f*ck out! TJ hopes Neville was watching that sh*t.
TJ Perkins defeats Brian Kendrick
But Neville wasn’t impressed:
WWE United States Championship match: Roman Reigns (c) vs. Chris Jericho
This was a hard-hitting contest. Jericho even pulled an Eddie Gueerero in this match, trying to cheat his way to victory. But Reigns proved too much for Y2J. Roman reigns supreme in this one. Maybe Goldberg takes offense to Reigns’ stealing his spear. That would be a great match to book.
Roman Reigns defeats Chris Jericho and retains his WWE United States Championship
Cedric Alexander (w/ Alicia Fox) vs. Drew Gulak (w/ Tony Nese)
Alicia Fox and Tony Nese are at ringside, each supporting their favorite. This was a high-flying contest. Alexanders was flying with drop kicks to Gulak. Drew’s moves looked devastating. Cedric almost fell on his head. This reminds me just how dangerous professional wrestling can be. Gulak looked impressive, but Alexander’s in-ring style looked like magic. Cedric is sure to be a star in this industry. This is the first time I’m seeing Gulak, but he proved to be a potential star tonight. Hats off to both men.
Drew Gulak defeats Cedric Alexander
Titus O’Neil vs. Xavier Woods
The New Day came out to play out some more of their magic. But Titus O’Neil interrupts and picks his hands on Francesca II and Dr. Woods. Now, we gotta fight on our hands…
Titus O’Neil appeared to be in control early on. He was so dominant against Woods that my brother Danny said “what is this going to be a squash match?” Seriously though, how could Titus squash Woods. Not gonna happen. Woods is a resourceful guy. He went UpUpDwnDwn all over Titus, and won with a roll-up. The New Day comes off on top once again, baybeeeeeee!
Xavier Woods defeats Titus O’Neil
Post-match segments: Stephanie McMahon says that Bailey doesn’t have what it takes, but obviously Bayley disagrees. Now, she has a match with Nia Jax. Then we go backstage with the crusierweights with. Noam Dar calls Cedric Alexander’s girlfriend (Alicia Fox) “sweet cheeks” and then scampers off. Dar really booked it.
Jack Gallagher and The New Day – Plus The Gentlemen Duel Recap
We get another hilarious dose of The New Day added with the comedy style of Jack Gallagher. But before that we get a recap of the hilarious segment that happen on WWE 205 Live, which you can watch every Tuesday at 10 p.m. EST on the WWE Network immediately following SmackDown Live. You can then watch it anytime you want in the WWE Network archives.
Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn – Last Man Standing
We get a monster of a video package for Braun Strowman. This guy man even be more of a beast than Brock Lesnar. But tonight, he’ll lock horns with Sami Zayn. Good luck, Sami!
When we get back from commercial. We see another video package, but this time it’s to hype Goldberg’s return tonight. That video looks great (yuge). Then Sami Zayn’s music hits and he makes his way down the to the ring. He looks on with trepidation as Braun Stowman’s music hits and he walks down to the ring.
Early on in the match, Zayn surprises me by bringing out a kendo stick and slowing down the monster. But Strowman is too strong and has Zayn flying. When they leave the ring, Zayn surprises Strowman once again with kendo stick. Braun is too strong and knocks down Sami. But Sami has a lot of heart and takes the fight to Braun. And then he mid-air, Strowman stops Zayn with a hard punch, which knocks him down to a count of six. But almost immediately, Braun crushes Sami again. Sami looks out of it and crawls out of the ring. Now, it’s commercial break (we got bees and Wendys lol).
We’re back from commercial and Braun is beating Zayn’s ass. He throws him off the entrance ramp, bangs his head into the announcer’s table, oh lawd! But Sami won’t stay down. Sami picks up a led pipe and f*cks up Strowman. But Braun fights back and tosses Sami like a rag doll, and almost takes off his head with a suitcase. But that tough little guy Sami Zayn has a lot of fight in him. He’s now kicking ass with a steal chair. But Braun is just too much. Eventually, the big man gets the upper hand and rams Sami’s head into the titan-tron. But Sami gets that damn chair back in his hands and starts swinging like a madman. Sami runs and does a diving cross-body to Braun and knocks the big man off the stage onto a table. They both beat the count. And Sami’s got that steel chair again, swinging away at Braun.
But Braun has had enough. He picks Sami up by that steel chair and demolishes the dude. A running power-slam gets Sami down for a close nine count. But Strowman is relentless and knocks him back down with a flurry of knees to the chest. Now, Strowman is wailing away, punching Sami in the head. Strowman interrupts the count of eight to do another devastating power-slam. Sami is out. Here comes the stretcher! Mick Foley is coming down with the paramedics.
Braun Strowman defeats Sami Zayn
Post match update: Braun flips over Sami in his stretcher, and slams him into the barricade. “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” Strowman screams.
Cesaro vs. Karl Anderson
Sheamus joins the commentator’s table, while Luke Gallows joins Karl Anderson by ringside. Cesaro and Anderson lock up it up early on. Cesaro knocks down Karl and takes the lead, but Anderson is no punk. He pushes Cesaro into the rings, knocks him down, flips him over with a monkey flip and a deep arm drag. But it wouldn’t be long until Cesaro takes back the lead with an uppercut. Karl tries to ram Cesaro’s head into the turnbuckle, but Cesaro turns the tables and hits a neutralizer on Anderson. 1, 2, kick out. Cesaro uppercuts the back of Anderson’s neck, and pinned him and another two count. Anderson rallies back and surprises Cesaro, and soon the Swiss Superman is lying on his ass outside the ring via a big boot from Karl Anderson.
We are back live and Anderson has Cesaro in a headlock. But the Swiss Superman quickly turns this around into a superplex. He hits two uppercuts, but misses the third one. Anderson capitalizes with a big kick. Pins Cesaro: 1,2, kick-out. But Anderson is not letting up on Cesaro, and is working the neck with a submission. But Cesaro rallies back, breaks free and hits an uppercut to the back of the neck. Cesaro is just hitting a fury of uppercuts to Karl in the corner. Too many to count.
Anderson whipped Cesaro into the corner. So, the guy scales the ropes and jumps at Anderson like a cat. But Cesaro gets distracted by Sheamus and Gallows. Anderson hits Cesaro with a spine buster. Cesaro strikes back with a springboard uppercut “like a cruise missile” – to quote Corey Graves. But Graves is fighting back hard with a flurry of offense, hitting Cesaro with a running knee. And Cesaro hits back with a drop kick to the face. Now, they’re back on the top rope. And Sheamus ends up hurting his partner because Gallows pushed him down. Cesaro lands on his nuts. And Anderson capitalizes. He jumps off the turnbuckle and hits Cesaro with a neckbreaker.
Karl Anderson defeats Cesaro
Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins
This is a very high impact match-up. The action spilled outside the ring a lot. Owens was putting up a hard fight, but Seth Rollins seemed to have the edge in this contest. Rollins was dominant, and Owens was a bit sloppy missing a cannonball splash onto Rollins and instead crashing into the barricade. The match ended when Owens hit Rollins with the ring bell.
Rollins defeats Owens by disqualification
WWE Monday Night Raw: Announced Matches
- Big Cass vs. Rusev & Jinder Mahal
- Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn (Last Man Standing Match)
- WWE United States Championship match: Roman Reigns (c) vs. Chris Jericho
- Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins (loser of this match is banned from ringside in the Reigns vs. Y2J match)
- Karl Anderson vs. Cesaro
- Xavier Woods vs. Titus O’Neil
- Cedric Alexander vs. Drew Gulak
- Brian Kendrick vs. TJ Perkins
- Bayley vs. Nia Jax
WWE Monday Night Raw Preview
On tonight’s episode of Raw, we’ll get another glimpse of Braun Strowman’s path of destruction. He’s a beast much-like Lesnar, but without any loud mouth backing him up on the mic. He lets his brute strength do all the talking. Braun is hungry for competition. And he will look to devour “The Underdog of the Underground” Sami Zayn in a Last Man Standing match that is sure to be devastating. On the lighter side of things, we’ll also get a match between the hilarious Enzo & Cass vs. the makeshift tandem of Rusev and Jinder Mahal. How you doin’?
What hi-jinks will Kevin Owens and his best friend “Y2J” Chris Jericho get into this time? What other names will make it on The List by the end of the night? Will it be you? And what do the former Shield brethren Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns have up their sleeves for the new year? And what about “the queen” herself: Charlotte Flair? How will she ring in the new year as Raw‘s resident matriarch? Can Bayley vanquish the Queen? And will Emmalina finally make him long-awaited debut?
hey ladies emmalina might debut tonight!!! pic.twitter.com/ohAFg0SJIm
— JOYRIDE (@brittnashe) January 2, 2017
And heeeeey, what about The New Day? They’ll be here too! And the crusierweights will be live and in action: you’ll see stars like Cedric Alexander, Brian Kendrick, Neville, and “The Extraordinary Gentleman” Jack Gallagher tear down the house. And for you swingers out there, we got the WWE Raw Tag Team Champions in the house! Cesaro & Sheamus will have to fend off The New Day in the new year.
Monday Night Raw will be live from the Amalie Arena in Tampa, Florida. Stick around to find out all the results from tonight’s event. Meanwhile, here’s a video of Goldberg’s best spears to get you hyped for tonight: