Our founding fathers made great sacrifices to win our nation’s freedom. And there’s no better way to celebrate that freedom than shooting off a bunch of colorful pyrotechnics.
But apparently in Iowa fireworks are illegal, to the great dismay of the modern-day Son of Liberty pictured above, 22-year-old De Moines resident Quinnlan O’Meara. He took a stand against the tyranny by drunkenly setting off fireworks at four in the morning on July 3rd. Yes, July 3rd. Because every day is celebrated like July 4th when you love America as much as this guy.
This patriot first received only a warning that from the police, who had received a noise complaint from a neighbor and saw O’Meara setting off fireworks, according to KWQC. But soon after they left, the cops were forced to return to O’Meara’s neighbor after receiving more complaints. O’Meara was found “holding a firework in one hand and a lighter in the other.” And that’s when the story really gets good.
After getting arrested, O’Meara told the cops that when he got out of jail he was going to light another firework “with a blunt in my mouth because this is America.” That line was of course first said by George Washington in 1776.
And that’s not even all. According to the police, when they asked O’Meara to take a preliminary breathalyzer test, he responded “that he would take a preliminary go [expletive] yourself test.”
As Randy Marsh would say, “I’m sorry, I thought this was America.”