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World’s Kindest Thief Steals Amazon Package, Leaves Money In It’s Place

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Well, this is one of the more bizarre/hilarious/curious articles I’ve ever written: a thief felt about about his thievery, so he tried to make up for it by literally paying his victim back.

Leslie Miller, from Indiana, had been eagerly awaiting a package to be delivered to her Franklin Township home, which is a suburb of Indianapolis. However, on the day the package was supposed to arrive, qs soon as Miller opened her mailbox, she knew something was off. Well, that’s because instead of a package, Miller found $25 and a message in her mailbox. On the back of the $20, it said, quite literally: ‘Stole your pants, felt sorry about it.’

As for Miller, she was understandably mind blown:

“I was just dumbfounded. Who does that? Who leaves money and a note behind? Who does that?”

Yo, I agree. I’d be actually bugging. It reminds me of that Dane Cook stand-up routine from a couple of years ago. He said he used to want to go on B&E’s, and instead of stealing something, he wouldn’t take a thing. In fact, he would maybe even leave something instead, all to f*ck with the owner.

While Miller appreciates the gesture, she’s still all like ‘Yeah, well, you still stole my sh*t. Not cool dude’:

“I had been searching for weeks for this certain pair, this certain pattern. I was excited when I got the shipment notice and came back and no pants. If you’re remorseful about something just return what you stole not something to replace it,” said Miller.

I don’t know what to make of this sympathetic thief, but I would sure as hell like to meet him. Like, is he the type of guy who knocks your beer over at the bar and then repays you by buying you a shot of Jack? Is he like, funny? Cause I’m sorry, this whole ‘note on the money’ thing is hilarious to me. Honestly, I’m hoping he’s just a good dude who had a lapse in judgement and stole some sh*t, cause if he is, I think we can be boys.

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  • COED Writer
    A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me - eric.italiano@teamcoed.com