This Is, Without A Doubt, The Most Hilarious Court Transcript In The History Of The Legal System

Yesterday, I brought y’all a story about a dude hurling his dumper sauce at a judge after being sentenced to 40 years in prison. It’s hilarious. However, this is funnier. Much funnier.
The following is a REAL LIFE exchange between Georgia based Judge Bryant Durham and alleged murderer Denver Allen. Allen, accused of committing a deadly jailhouse beatdown last year, appeared in court on Friday, representing himself, claiming his public defender said he would only do “a good job” if he was allowed to give Allen oral sex. Judge Durham advised him against it. The following is one hundred percent real, and one hundred percent happened in an actual United States courtroom.
Oh, and mind you, these are merely the highlights. You can read the entire batsh*t crazy transcript here.


 
[h/t Gawker]

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