The Formula For The Perfect Pregame Playlist

The perfect pregame leaves everyone so deeply intoxicated they can barely stumble to the next locale. This ideal atmosphere is created with a combination of the best drinks almost $0 can buy you, the perfect ratio of girls to guys that doesn’t manage to resemble a middle school dance, and of course, a playlist that will have everyone equally ready for partying and penetration.

Spoiler alert– the formula for the perfect playlist is simple.

Step 1: Start with the Billboard 100 while everyone’s loosening up. As the liquid courage flows, your pregame will slowly transition from awkward to amazing, depending on the speed you can take shots of Fireball. Full disclosure= it takes more than one second for a shot to kick in, but no one needs to know that. Start the night with serious shots and the top 10 playlist, and you’ll have everyone ready to party, asking “Turn down for what?”

Step 2: Slowly transition from Billboard to blasting the oldies. By oldies I mostly mean songs from the early 2000s, back when Britney Spears didn’t look like a wildebeest. Basically anything from your elementary school days that will have every girl glad she came. This includes, but is not limited to, Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, and if you’re a glutton for punishment, Hanson. Plug your ears, take another shot, and prepare to hear sorority squeals at high volumes immediately.

Step 3: It’s now time to get the girls twerking up a storm, MiCy style (only better, hopefully). For this step, you need anything by the Ying Yang twins. Also more alcohol.

Step 4: Much like closing time, it’s time to move this party on to the main event (whether that’s your bedroom or the bar is your personal decision). You want sing-a-long favorites like “Wagon Wheel,” “Sweet Caroline,” and, appropriately enough, “Closing Time.”

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