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Everyone knows that it’s always best to start drinking before you go out drinking. Now that the semester has started, it means the best way to lure girls to your room (in a not creepy way, natch) is with the promise of cheap drinks that seem ultra elegant. Obviously, you could always host a pregame with only Natty Light, but it’s doubtful that anyone will be impressed, including your bros. The best way to guarantee that you get it in is with inexpensive alcohol that tastes delicious, instead of the special kind of lukewarm horse urine that passes for cheap beer. Whether you’re hosting the pregame in your grime bucket of a dorm room or at your equally awful off-campus apartment, there are certain pregame necessities. Even if you’re traveling to someone else’s room, you should bring the party with, perfectly planned Spotify playlist included (you need the ultimate combination of throwbacks and booty bouncing music). If you’re trying to convince your girl that you’re an amateur mixologist on your way to becoming a professional, here are the drinks you need to know.
1. You Can’t Go Wrong With Beer Pong
If there’s beer involved, make it beer pong. No better way to break the ice before getting completely blotto. It’s perfect because it ensures that your party doesn’t look like a middle school dance. Sure, your dream girl might be a hard 10 smokeshow who can shotgun a beer while doing a 20 second keg stand, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s real (spoiler alert, apologies). Just make sure to seriously stock up on Solo Cups. Beer pong is already a dirty endeavor, and the last thing a girl who spent 2+ hours working on her lipstick wants is to drink from a heavily used red cup. Try not to be creepy aggressive about winning, and maybe you’ll get a better prize than the title of Beer Pong Champion.
2. Keep It Sweet
You know what biddies like? Fro-yo, Pumpkin Spice Lattes, and ridiculously sugary cocktails that ensure a hangover of epic proportions the next day. That’s literally the key to their hearts, and to their $30 Hanky Panky’s. Therefore, you should be making something similarly sweet. No, I’m not saying it should be a cocktail so nauseating you can’t keep it down, I’m just saying that you shouldn’t be offering an entire sorority a handle of $5 vodka and nothing else. At least shell out for chasers. Real talk, though– if you did find a way to spike a PSL, you’d have Starbucks sized lines outside your dorm room door.
3. Vodka Cran Over Everything
It might seem ridiculously simple, but every single freshman girl on this planet likes a solid Vodka Cran. It’s science. If you really want her to think you know what you’re doing, add a slice of lime. She’ll be in your bed before she even finishes her cocktail. If you’re trying to be extra fancy, you could make a Dirty Shirley with vodka, soda, and grenadine. The greater the effort, the bigger the reward. With a splash of sour mix, she’ll never need to go to the bar at all. Other possible creations are Vodka Sours, and of course shots on shots on shots are always a viable option– Fireball is always a favorite if you’re looking to make some bad decisions that you’ll quickly forget.
4. You Seriously Need A Signature Drink
Want everyone to think you’re the James Bond of campus? Then you obviously need a signature drink. While I wouldn’t personally suggest a Martini because I have a feeling your friendly campus bartender would scoff at you, you can make your own variation on Jungle Juice and you’ll seem dedicated, but you’ll also have a go-to potion that has people ready to party. Now that you know how to dress and make a mean adult beverage, you’re basically James Bond, anyway, only younger and less dangerous (hopefully).
