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There are many quotes floating around out there doling advice about timing in life. What you’ll be ready for, when you’ll be ready for it, how you’ll know, and all sorts of other things you imagined only an 8-ball could give advice on. There’s no one-size-fits-all pattern to life for anyone or anything, but some of the advice floating around out there is worth listening to, especially when you’re considering moving in with your significant other.
Choosing a roommate is difficult enough without the variables of intimacy and emotions involved. Living with a significant other is a huge change, regardless of how long you’ve known one another. A recent survey shows most people have a fairly practical stance on living with a romantic partner. Most people say they’ll wait one to two years before moving in together.
There’s this thing called balance. And it’s very tentative, especially in relationships. The balance of power, the balance of fairness, the balance of responsibility… all of these things have weight and they tip the scales almost constantly. You and your partner need to be prepared to share the responsibilities of your home. Of your lifestyle. Experts say one of the signs you’re ready to move in with your partner is that you’re willing to compromise and shoulder the burden of responsibility together.
Relationships are equations. You’re always adding up variables to certain sums, assuming certain averages. Multiplying, dividing. There are certain weights added to different variables, too, in certain circumstances. Additionally, sometimes there are common issues in solving certain equations. But much like math equations, relationships aren’t much fun if you aren’t able to get to a solution.
One of the leading causes of disagreements between couples is about money, right? So, if that’s a common problem in the relationship equation, knowing how to solve it means you and your partner can find a solution together. In translation? You guys have talked about money, and you know how to budget. If you aren’t on the same page about budgeting and your financial decisions, you won’t be on the same page about much. Or in the same room, at that point.
Equations don’t work if all the pieces aren’t put together properly. If you can ask some basic questions about how you and your partner compromise, how you’ll balance responsibilities when the scales are tipped, and you’ve dated long enough that you can foresee a future together, you might be ready to sign the lease. Together.
Nothing is tailor-made for you and your partner. No listicle can tell you the perfect amount of time you should have dated for before you began cohabitating. There’s no article that spells out how to politely tell your specific significant other that yes, their dishes need to make it into the dishwasher in a timely fashion. Nobody can tell you just when to make the jump to cohabitation, but there are signs that can help you decide when you’re ready.
And if all signs are pointing towards yes, then head to the leasing office together – roomies!
