Can you feel it? The season might not have started yet, but everyone is ready for football to be back. Sure, we have preseason football, but that’s not enough. We get to see the stars for all of five minutes each week or perhaps not even at all.
With the season starting, that means fantasy football is back as well. You’re getting yourself ready for your draft, doing your prep, mixing in a few mocks and doing everything you need to in order to take home the title. Unfortunately, that also means encountering certain people that are in every single league. You know who they are and if you can’t think of someone that fits the bill for one (or more) of them, then chances are they’re you.
You know them, you love them or more than likely hate them, so take a look at the 12 people you’re guaranteed to run into in your league.
“I was JUST about to pick him!” Guy
Okay, so this guy isn’t so much one person as it is ALL of us. There are guaranteed to be moments in your draft or when you’re obsessing over the waiver wire that someone else swooped in and picked the player you were after.
However, this one person doesn’t just say it out loud, they are actually angry that you took this player. They act as if you somehow personally offended them.
So yes, it’s completely normal to get upset when a player you targeted is gone, but just don’t hold a grudge.
They’re God’s gift to football, or at least they think they are. If they do not personally agree with who you pick or select on the waiver wire, you better believe they’re gonna make it known.
“Oh, you took a TE in the 4th round? WHAT AN IDIOT!” They’ll say that while also completely ignoring the fact they wanted Gronk in the third round.
In their mind, they are the smartest person in the room and they may honestly think they are smarter than some of the NFL coaches. Sure, maybe they’re just a full-blown narcissist or maybe they’re just an asshole, doesn’t change how much of a pain they are to deal with.
Despite it being 2018, this guy will show up with the same amount of papers that exist in the Library of Congress, each one compiled with stats and analysis. He will also completely discard these sheets about 5 mins into the draft.
You can do all the planning you want, but if one thing goes wrong then the whole strategy is thrown off.
If you really feel the need to have all of this stuff on hand, just use your phone or bring your iPad. It’s 2018, let’s save some trees.
The “Guy Who’s Blacked Out By Round 5”
If you’re doing a live draft, you, of course, have all the essentials. Strong WiFi, a fully charged laptop, plenty of food, and a ton of beer to drink. Unfortunately, there is always that one guy that gets a little too excited, forgets to eat something, and wakes up tomorrow wondering why he took Adam Vinatieri in the seventh round.
Don’t be this guy, not just because it’s embarrassing but also because you are bound to get absolutely roasted by the rest of the league for who you actually end up with. They may also take advantage of your state of mind and get you to make the wrong moves.
The “One That Just Needs to be There To Make an Even Number”
Maybe someone dropped out last minute or they just grew tired of fantasy football. So you’re scrambling to find a replacement and suddenly you’ve found him or her. There are two different scenarios that could potentially unfold here
1.) They’re amazing at Fantasy Football, shows up your entire league, and wins the title.
2.) They’re terrible, or even worse, they don’t even care.
Either way, it’s not a great look for anyone involved.
The “Ride or Die”
They just can’t bring themselves to draft someone from a rival team. I’m a Jet fan, so I always feel a little dirty when I draft someone from the Patriots. However, the allure of winning the title and the money normally overrules those feelings.
Not this guy though. He will make every effort to draft as many people as he can from his favorite team and he will delve into “I was JUST about to pick him!” guy territory, as he gets annoyed someone took his next target from his team.
Sure, it makes rooting for people during the season easier since there won’t be as many conflicts, but it really isn’t a smart strategy.
The “Let’s Make A Trade” Guy
He’s never, ever satisfied with his team. He’s always tinkering, making moves on the waiver wire, and sends you no less than 1000 trade offers a season. He’s always trying to swindle you and the other members of the league by saying stuff like “He’s a sleeper bro, trust me.”
I highly doubt that the seventh-round pick from Northern Montana State is a sleeper, so I’m gonna say no.
The “Bare Minimum” Guy
He’s been in the league since its inception and he’s here for the long haul, but he just never seems as passionate about it as the rest of you are. He might not even be bothered to make sure his roster is set up week to week.
Don’t even get him started on the waiver wire. He doesn’t know what it is, and probably doesn’t care to know. Lucky for you, that usually means you can snag an easy win when you play them.
Unless your team really stinks. Then that’s just embarrassing.
This poor guy. He’s in charge of everything and is somehow responsible for keeping everyone in line. He might not be the best at it, but dammit he’s trying. Not only does he have to make league rules, he basically has to set everything up as well.
He’s like the Dad of the whole league that secretly hates all of his kids. Not a great position to be in.
The “Slave to the Rankings” Guy
He doesn’t really have a mind of his own. He has studied the Yahoo/ESPN rankings since they were first released and basically has them memorized at this point. He doesn’t trust himself to take a leap of faith and relies heavily on where the “experts” have ranked the players.
You know who this guy is, and lucky for you, it’s easy to take advantage of this guy and capitalize.
Listen, everyone complains about fantasy football. It’s basically 80% of the game but this guy just takes it to another level. He bitches and moans about every single coaching decision made in a game or says stuff like “how could Todd Gurley not stretch that run for two more yards?!”
Everything becomes an issue for him and you better believe he has a problem with the league rules. This person and the commissioner usually hate each other because this person has a problem with every decision the commissioner has made and swears he could do a better job.”
Fantasy football is somehow simultaneously one of the best and worst parts of the NFL season. It provides a nice reason to get excited about games in which your team isn’t involved and, as if you needed on, talk trash to your friends.
Agree with our list? Disagree? Let us know in the comments.