What The Hell Happened This Weekend? A Recap Of All The Headlines You Missed

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Started drinking right after work on Friday? Sunday Funday’d a little too hard? Girlfriend duty? Or maybe you just plain old turned off your brain. Well, whatever your reason is for not knowing what the hell happened, we’ve got you covered.

This is COED’s What The Hell Happened This Weekend?


Pop Culture

-For all of you out there (like myself) who still don’t fully understand cryptocurrency, John Oliver John Oliver’d it for all of us:

-So, this show came out a couple of months ago, but I started watching Godless on Netflix & it’s DOPE. Netflix really dropped the ball on not making people aware that Jeff Daniels was the villain in this show. He’s excellent.

-Speaking of Netflix, the third and final season of Judd Apatow’s show Love came out and I am going to miss it. The best way to describe Love is this: it’s like being with the characters of Judd Apatow movies when the cameras aren’t rolling. It’s a cute show and super consumable.


Sports

-The Cleveland Browns went nuts over the weekend, trading for Tyrod Taylor, Jarvis Landry, Damarious Randall, while also shipping out relative-bust Danny Shelton. Don’t forget, the Browns still own the first and fourth picks in the NFL draft.

Browns fans watching their team make moves only for it to result in a 3-13 season

-Speaking of the NFL, Richard Sherman is now a 49er.

-The NFL League Year OFFICIALLY begins on Wednesday, meaning NFL Free Agency OFFICIALLY kicks off. Expect more pandemonium.

-The NCAA Tournament bracket was revealed in convoluted fashion on Sunday Night. The #1 seeds are Virginia, Villanova, Xavier, and Kansas.

-The Cavs are officially an enigma, getting steamrolled by the Lakers on Sunday night.

-Manchester United defeated Liverpool to secure second place in the Premier League.

-Christian Pulisic, AKA Captain America, continues to ball out in the Bundesliga, being directly involved in 2 of Borussia Dortmund’s three goals on Sunday:

That’s our boy. pic.twitter.com/NHumEV3fOg

— Across the Pond (@ATPradio) March 11, 2018

-One week after the unexpected death of their captain, Italian club Fiorentina willed themselves to a 1-0 victory over Benevento.

Pictures are worth a thousand words:

Fiorentina players at the final whistle after today’s 1-0 victory over Benevento, their first game since the passing of their captain, Davide Astori. pic.twitter.com/APPKmiJK4Z

— Across the Pond (@ATPradio) March 11, 2018


News & Politics

-North Korea has asked the United States for directly nuclear talks and we have obliged, which, according to political talking heads, means President Trump and Kim Jong-un are going to meet face-to-face. That’ll be fun.

-An explosive device in Austin, Texas killed one person on Monday morning.

-Betsy DeVos, the Secretary of Education, went on 60 Minutes to discuss education in her home state of Michigan.


College News

-SAE at KU is the latest fraternity to be suspended or shut down in the last year. If I was heading to college in 2018, I don’t know what the hell I’d do in regards to fraternities. On one hand, they’re an absolute blast, but on the other, they’re dropping like f*ckin’ flies:

-The UMass student newspaper published a frankly preposterous article about fraternities:


Hottest of the Week

-Lord of the Gram: Return of the Queen (this is a Lord of the Rings: Return of the King joke about Kylie Jenner, talk about a stretch):

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women’s day

A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

-You know, just Rita Ora marketing the hell out of bras & what not:

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@tezenisofficial 🖤

A post shared by RITA ORA (@ritaora) on

-There’s still time to get in on the ground floor of the Moonstrucktraveller bandwagon if you act quickly:


Viral Randomness

-It’s Monday:

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You vs. Monday. [via @starting9]

A post shared by COMPLEX (@complex) on


Happy Monday, everyone, and good luck out there. We’ll see you on the other side of the weekend, but until then, here’s our song of the week.

*scribbling into aged-journal*

3/11/18: Just saw like 15 chicks put up an Instagram in the last hour.

Is Sunday night their peak hours of operation? Prime hunting time?

Starting to learn more about the wild creature known as the basic white bitch. Promising development.

— Eric Italiano (@eric_italiano) March 12, 2018

You can follow Eric on Twitter @eric_italiano and on Instagram @ericitaliano .

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