Man Claiming To Be From 2030 “Passes A Lie Detector Test” With Some Wild Claims About The Future

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Time travel is just one of those things that gets my plums going, meaning I could truly care less that this modern day Marty McFly-wannabe is lying through his teeth for the sake of going viral.

Just the thought of being able to treat time the same way we do distance is a nerd-boner-inducing prospect. Terry Collins leaves Matt Harvey in an inning too long during the 2015 World Series? I’d light beam myself right into the Citi Field dugout and kick Terry and Harvey in the nuts. Accidentally drink too much, therefore rendering my manhood useless on a night I really needed it to work? BOOM — beam myself back to earlier that night and switch from liquor to beer. Forgot you had a joint in your jacket pocket before getting pulled over by the cops? You know the drill (the fact that these were the first three examples that popped into my brain should tell you a lot about me).

Point is, one of the things I WOULDN’T do is what this guy is doing, therefore proving he’s full of shit. Instead of selfishly running around tidying up all of his past mistakes like any regular human being would, this dude’s out here throwing off the time-space equilibrium by raising all sorts of alarms with preposterous claims, the FIRST of which being that he’s from the future. EVERY time traveler knows that keeping their damn mouth shut is the easiest route to success. That’s rookie year knowledge.

Anyway, about the video: he say’s that Donnie Freedom is going to be elected and that artificial intelligence is going to rise, all of which are currently realistic possibilities. But none of that matters because we all know he’s lying, what matters is that even the thought of actual time travel is worth writing about because it’s so much damn fun to think about. You know, Interstellar-type shit.

What I guess I’m saying is, you’re welcome for this moment of time travel daydreaming.

#StayWoke

COED Writer
COED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me - eric.italiano@teamcoed.com