You know why criminals are criminals? Cause they’re pitiful at everything else in life.
More times than not, criminals also STINK at crime. Year after year, you’ll find a story titled “Criminal Gets Trapped In Chimney During B&E” or “Thief Knocks Himself Out Cold While Escaping”. Well, today’s headline in idiot criminality is “Man Attempts Burglary, But Ends Up Getting Drunk & Eating A Bunch Of Muffins” instead.
And not only did our man right here, identified as Bradley Braxton, get wasted and stuff his face with a bunch of Entenmann’s, but he fell asleep in the house, too.
Look, I smoked a couple of pots in my day, so I know what it’s like to gorge yourself in munchie snacks until you fall asleep. In fact, I’ve pulled that exact move. But never while I’m committing a crime. I always make sure to keep my crime and partying separate (kidding … or am I?).
Clearly, this guy never graduated from Eric’s School of Stupidity.
The 40-year-old Oshkosh man is in the Outagamie County jail after a homeowner discovered a stranger had broken in and was sleeping naked in the bed.
According to WBAY-TV, Appleton Police were called to the 200 block of South Memorial Drive on Saturday for a report of a naked man sleeping in the victim’s bed.
Police also said the man, later identified as Bradley Braxton, had drank the homeowner’s whiskey and had eaten his muffins. Braxton also confessed to using meth.
Braxton, who already faced bail jumping charges as he was out on bond for a separate crime, is expected to be charged with burglary, damage to property, disorderly conduct, and possession of marijuana.