The Mad Pooper Is STILL On The Loose

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In Colorado, the poop bandit known as the “Mad Pooper” is still terrorizing a community so frequently that police have had to ask people to stop calling them about it. After initially being spotted in September, the Mad Pooper is reportedly still running amock.

According to Deadspin, the Colorado Springs Police Department is so inundated with constant inquiries about the Mad Pooper that they’ve had to ask the public to leave them alone until an update is provided.

“No, no updates. If something comes out, we’ll put it on Twitter and Facebook. In the big scheme of things we’d like to get her identified.”

The Mad Pooper has been at this for some time now, as she has defecated in the same spot on her running route every week for almost THREE months now, beginning in September and continuing through to almost Thanksgiving. Even more shocking is that the Mad Pooper may be trying to make a point about … free speech?

A man claiming to be the “spokesman” for the Mad Pooper, who won’t identify himself or the jogger, only calling her “Shirley”, said she is sorry for desecrating people’s lawns but claimed her actions are not her fault, as she has a “traumatic brain injury and after gender reassignment surgery” and therefore can no longer control herself.

Furthermore, the “spokesman” claimed that her actions are protected under the First Amendment, comparing it to breastfeeding in public.

via KRDO:

The “spokesman” refuses to answer KRDO’s many questions to verify his identity or find out if he is actually speaking on the jogger’s behalf, but we went to a lawyer to see if his claims would hold up in court. Criminal Defense Attorney Jeremy Loew said they are bogus.

“Defecating in someone’s yard is definitely not protected under the First Amendment and it is actually a crime,” Loew explained.

Loew even said that she could be facing indecent exposure charges, which might land her on the sex offender registry. Loew added that if the video is actually coming from the woman at the center of the controversy, it was a bad move.

“This is actually the worst thing the family could do,” he said. “Maybe they thought the videos would make the situation go away, but they won’t. People all over the world are talking about this, and police will catch her. The man in the video will also have to be called into court to testify.”

Colorado Springs police are asking the public to take photos of the woman to help identify her, who they say could be facing charges of indecent exposure and public defecation.

COED Writer
COED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me - eric.italiano@teamcoed.com
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