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Whoever Called The Police On These Two Golf Course Lovers Is The One Who Should Be Arrested

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Uh, hey buddy, ever hear the phrase “when nature calls”? I didn’t know that only applied to breaking the seal and bowel movements. Humans are merely animals, after all, so when nature calls, you best answer.

Dakota Len Payne and Kiernan Dunne Hennessey, a young, free loving South Carolina couple, has been arrested after they were ratted out for screwing on the golf course.

Police received a call from a local resident around 7:30 PM on Sunday, August 27, saying that two people were lying on the eighth fairway. While the rat caller initially thought there may have been a medical situation, they soon discovered that it was just two people acting on their most primal instincts.

According to the hilarious police report, responding officers saw the “male with his head between the female’s legs.”

via Miami Herald:

Clover residents Dakota Len Payne, 19, and Kiernan Dunne Hennessey, 24, were arrested Sunday after police found them having sex on the eighth hole of the golf course, a report says. According to a Tega Cay police report, a resident called a little before 7:30 p.m. Sunday after seeing two people lying on the fairway.

The resident told police he thought there may be some medical situation, but after getting his binoculars and looking closer, he saw the couple engaged in a sex act. Another pair of witnesses later told police they saw the couple from the tee box, but initially thought them to be a deer on the fairway.

Officers arrived, according to the report, to find Payne without shorts on and Hennessey wearing only a bra, according to the report. Both “were instructed multiple times” to stop what they were doing and clothe themselves, according to the report.

Both Payne and Hennessey were arrested and charged with indecent exposure and were transported to the Fort Mill Police Department and booked into custody.

While the law may view them as criminals, we see them as what they are: human beings.

COED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me - eric.italiano@teamcoed.com