WWE Monday Night is invading the Air Canada Centre in Toronto, Ontario. Tonight, Roman Reigns will clash with Braun Strowman in a Last Man Standing match. By the way,”The Beast Incarnate” Brock Lesnar is in the building! We kick off tonight’s show with The Miz complaining in the ring alongside The Miztourage…
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The Miz Is Pissed Off At Jason Jordan
The Miz opens up tonight’s episode of Raw. He’s extremely pissed off at Jason Jordan who went beast-mode on him and The Miztourage last week. Miz demands that Kurt Angle’s “illegitimate son” come down to the ring right now. The Miztourage start taking off their suit jackets in preparation for a fight.
Raw GM Kurt Angle’s music hits. Angle enters into the equation. He says Jason Jordan won’t be Miz’s guest for tonight. Jordan will be facing a member of The Miztourage later tonight. But Miz does have a beast of a guest….
Enter “The Beast” Incarnate Brock Lesnar! Miz seems unshaken. He runs his mouth, telling Brock and Paul that it’s virtually impossible that Lesnar will retain at SummerSlam. Miz puts his money on all three of Lesnar’s opponents. He’d bet on Roman Reigns, Samoa Joe, and Braun Strowman, but definitely not Lesnar.
Paul Heyman picks up the microphone and reintroduces himself. Heyman starts asking if Miz role-plays with his wife. Heyman says Miz is Roman Reigns, Bo Dallas is Samoa Joe, and Curtis Axel is Braun Strowman. Heyman says he’ll give everyone a prevent of what’s going to happen at SummerSlam. Heyman exits the ring, and Brock goes full beast mode.
Brock Lesnar absolutely decimates everyone in the ring. He first clotheslines both Axel and Dallas. Miz tries to fight off Lesnar, but gets taken to Suplex City. Lesnar sends all men packing to Suplex City actually. Brock gives an F-5 to everyone in The Miztoruage.
Seth Rollins vs. Sheamus
Sheamus and Rollins mix it up. Rollins gains the early advantage and dominates The Celtic Warrior. “The Celtic Warrior” is distracted by his tag team partner and Rollins capitalizes on the distracted Sheamus. Rollins launches himself onto “The Celtic Warrior, but pays for it when he gets caught. Sheamus turns the tide and drops Rollins crotch-first on the top rope. The Celtic Warrior knocks Seth out of the ring. Cesaro mocks Rollins at ringside. Sheamus walks over to Rollins, but gets hit in the face. Sheamus drops Rollins, and celebrates with Cesaro as go to the commercial break.
We’re back from the break, and Sheamus remains in control. He hits Rollins hard in the chest with a series of shots. Sheamus is about to take out Rollins with a Brogue Kick, but “The Architect” moves out of the way and hits The Celtic Warrior with an enziguri kick. Sheamus takes out Rollins and they both crumble to the floor. Rollins takes control, trying to suplex Sheamus from the top rope.
Rollins hits a hurricarana from the top rope. He follows up with a kick to the head. Seth goes for the cover. 1…2…kick out!
Seth hits Sheamus with a Sling Blade. Rollins ascends the top rope and Cesaro jumps up on the apron. Seth jumps towards Cesaro and misses. Sheamus rolls up The Architect for the win.
Sheamus defeats Seth Rollins
Post-Match: An aggravated and angry Seth Rollins launches himself onto Sheamus and Cesaro via suicide dive. But almost immediately, the tag team champions descend upon Rollins and pick him apart bit by bit. There is no Dean Ambrose to protect Seth Rollins now.
Jason Jordan vs. Jean-Pierre Goulet
Since Curtis Axel was taken out by Brock Lesnar, Angle needed a new guy to take on his son Jason Jordan. A jobber known as Jean-Pierre Goulet answers the call. The crowd chants “let’s go jobber!”
Jordan scoops Goulet’s leg and flips him on his head. Goulet tries to turn the tide. But Jason Jordan is way too intense. Jordan tackles Goulet into the corner. He sends this jobber to Suplex City. Jordan seals the deal with a devastating neck-break for the win.
Jason Jordan defeats Jean-Pierre Goulet
Editor’s Note: Jason Jordan is geared to become another Rocky Maivia. The crowd will probably turn on this vanilla baby-face soon enough. Tonight, the audience was much more invested into a random jobber. I expect a heel turn in Jordan’s near-future. A heel Jason Jordan has boundless potential.
Breaking News: Bayley Is Out Of SummerSlam
Bayley’s injured her shoulder last week in her match against Nia Jax. Jax ended up separating Bayley’s shoulder when she dropped her to the mat towards the end of the match. In light of that injury, she is forced to sit out of SummerSlam in her once-scheduled match against Alexa Bliss. Bayley won’t be going for the Raw Women’s Champion in the Barclay’s Center.
Bayley Addresses The Crowd
Bayley is joined in the ring by WWE interview Charly Caruso. We see a video of Nia Jax injuring. And Bayley can’t even look up and watch the video. Charly announces two triple threat matches will determine who goes onto face Alexa Bliss at SummerSlam. Bayley thinks “The Boss” Sasha Banks deserves the title shot the most out of everyone in the locke-room.
Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox vs. Emma
Sasha Banks controls the pace in the early going. She knocks Emma out of the ring and tangles with Fox. But then Emma emerges and takes out Sasha, knocking her to the outside. “Evil” Emma jumps up on the apron and kicks Fox right in the face.
Fox and Emma tangle, with Emma hitting the most wrestling moves. But then Sasha comes out of nowhere and knees Emma right in the face. Sasha and Fox mix it up, and Fox almost pins The Boss.
Emma regains control over Fox, but then Banks returns to the ring with force. She locks Emma in the Banks Statement. Emma taps the f*ck out!
Sasha Banks defeats Emma & Alicia Fox. Sasha moves on to the next round in her quest to become the new #1 contender for Alexa Bliss’ WWE Raw Women’s Championship
Big Show & Enzo Talk Some Trash
Big Show says Big Cass has a “shawft jaw.” Out comes Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson who are looking for a fight. Gallows calls Big Show “a nerd!” Enzo says Gallows looks like Dr. Evil while Anderson looks like his Mini Me. ‘Zo challenges those boys to a fight.
Big Show & Enzo Amore vs. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson
Big Show dominates his opponents immediately. Gallows & Anderson are reeling outside the ring as we go to the commercial break. Show and Enzo remain in control. Gallows & Anderson try their best to turn the tide, but Show is too dominant and ‘Zo is one wild, slippery cat.
Big Cass enters the equation. He walks down to ringside, effectively distracting Big Show. Gallows capitalizes, kicking Show in the head. Gallows & Anderson return their attention to Enzo. They try to take out ‘Zo with The Magic Killer, but Enzo slips off.
The numbers game is too much for Enzo to handle. Karl Anderson ends the match with a big drive-by kick to Enzo.
Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows defeats Enzo Amore & Big Show
Post-Match: Big Cass stalks a fallen Big Show. Cass pounces on Show, beating him into the mat with his fists. Cass then sets his focus on the little guy Enzo Amore. Big Cass tosses Enzo right into the barricade. Enzo manages to return to his feet, and tries to avoid the presence of the big man. Cass slowly stalks Enzo around the ring, but then walks right into Big Show’s fist.
Finn Balor Speaks!
Finn Balor calls Bray Wyatt “creepy.” No shit, Finn. Out comes Bray and he wants to fight Balor. Wyatt pounces from her perch on the top rope and lunges towards Balor. Finn ducks and runs across the ring. Wyatt goes on the attack again, and Finn kicks him in the face. Balor is about tot take out Wyatt, but the lights go out and Bray is gone.
Wyatt remains appears on the titan-tron screen. He’s laughing in the dark. His feud with Finn is far from over.
Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose
Cesaro beat the living crap out of Ambrose for much of the match. But Dean loves punishment and exchanged some shots as well. Cesaro looks primed for victory, but Dean somehow turns things around. Sheamus tries to distract Ambrose, but it backfires. After a long grueling match, Ambrose somehow pulls out the victory with a quick and simple roll-up.
Dean Ambrose defeats Cesaro
Post-Match: Cesaro & Sheamus assault Dean Ambrose immediately after the match. Seth Rollins runs out to even the odds. They fight off the champions. Dean wants to give Seth a fist bump, but Rollins walks out.
Akria Tozawa vs. Ariya Daivari
Both men exchange moves. Tozawa is dangerous with kicks. But Daivari knows how to take control with ground-and-pound action. Ariya locks Akira in a submission hold. Tozawa fights out and regains control. Akira hits a sick suicide dive outside the ring onto Daivari. Ariya attempts to turn the tide, but Akira is too much to handle. Tozawa ends the match with a Senton from the top rope.
Akira Tozawa defeats Ariya Daivari
Editor’s Note: I better buy some stock in The Titus Brand!
Mickie James vs. Dana Brooke vs. Nia Jax
Nia Jax absolutely thrashes both women. Jax is dominate as f*ck. Both competitors try their best to survive. Mickie James even tried to steal a victory from Jax after she dropped Dana Brooke. Jax made James pay big time.
Jax continues her path of carnage. Jax finally seals the deal with a leg-drop on Brooke.
Nia Jax defeats Dana Brooke & Mickie James. Jax will face Sasha Banks next week, and the winner goes on to challenge Alexa Bliss for the WWE Raw Women’s Championship at SummerSlam
The Golden Age will be come to SummerSlam
Goldust will leave his mark on the Barclay’s Center. And I love it! He’ll be coming to SummerSlam. Will he find a hero? A villain? Does it really matter? Not really. The Golden Age….is back!
Big Cass wants to fight Big Show at SummerSlam
Cass want to tangle with Show at SummerSlam, but he doesn’t want Enzo getting involved. Angle and Cass quickly brainstorm, and they both agree on having Enzo locked in a cage high above the ring during the match between Big Show and Big Cass at SummerSlam.
Last Man Standing Match: Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman
Reigns goes on the attack first, slapping Strowman in the first over and over. But this just gets Braun angry, who takes control, throwing Reigns into the barricade. Braun lifts Roman up and tosses him into the ring like a rag-doll. Strowman is absolutely decimating Reigns.
Strowman has been beating the sh*t out of Reigns for a while now. He tackles Roman into the steel steps during the break. Strowman tosses the steps into the ring. Roman turns the tide as he fires away on the big man with shot after shot. But Braun just won’t fall down. Reigns hits Strowman with the steps and knocks him down to a knee. Strowman gets up only to be knocked out his ass by some steel steps. Reigns goes beast-mode on Braun with the steps. He repeatedly hits Strowman with the steel. The referee begins the count, but Braun gets up at before the count of 10.
Roman is about to hit a Superman Punch, but Braun catches him. Reigns wiggles through only to be slammed to the mat by Strowman. Reigns gets to his feet at the count of 8. Braun tries picking up Roman, but Reigns counters with a Superman Punch from high up in the air. Both men make it to their feet, beating the count. Regns charges towards Strowman, but eats an insane dropkick. “That must be like receiving a dropkick from a T-Rex,” say Raw color commentator Corey Graves.
Braun charges towards Reigns, but goes shoulder-first into the steel post. Strowman struggles to get to his feet outside the ring. Reigns runs up to the big man and hits a Drive-By Kick. Reigns looks under the ring for a weapon. He pulls out a table and slides it in the ring. Reigns charges at Strowman, thinking about hitting another Drive-By Kick. But Braun knocks him down mid-air with a clothesline.
Strowman sets up the table. Reigns recuperates and fights off Braun. Roman takes out Braun with a Samoan Drop through the table. Strowman is able to return to his feet and exits the ring. Reigns charges towards Braun, but Strowman throws a black, rotating chair right in Reigns face.
Roman Reigns, somehow, returns to his feet. Strowman is still in control as he throws Reigns into the crowd. Roman fights back and punishes the bigger man. Reigns seems to be in control, but then Braun hits back with one big move. Strowman drives Reigns into the titan-tron screen. Reigns finds the strength to make it to his feet. Braun picks up Reigns and drives him into the screen once again.
Strowman looks frustrated as he sees Reigns recuperating. Braun pulls equipment off the announcer’s table. Strowman is about to send Reigns through the table, but Roman fights back. Reigns hits Superman Punch after Superman Punch. Roman charges towards Strowman, but runs right into a big boot. Reigns returns to his feet and runs at Braun full speed. Roman takes out Strowman with a spear.
Then out of nowhere, Samoa Joe comes out of the crowd and locks Reigns in the Coquina Clutch. Both Reigns and Strowman are lying down outside the ring. But Braun is the one to make it to his feet before the count of 10.