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Melania Curved Donald Trump Out Of Holding Hands AGAIN


I didn’t write about the first hand-holding moment because, despite how much I enjoy taking the piss out of Trump (that’s a British phrase, I’m cultured), the coverage on him can be exhausting and you can’t write about every little thing. Or maybe you can, but I just don’t want to. So I categorized Melania recoiling from Donnie Freedom’s hand as just a mere blip on the radar.

But just a day later, after the first video went completely viral, Melania pulled the same damn move, and maybe even more flagrantly this time.

Look, I’m no body language expert, but I did major in communications at Rutgers, and while I barely learned much, I do remember them always talking about non-verbal cues. For example, looking up and away when you’re lying, or shaking when you’re nervous, etc, etc. And as far as I know, quickly withdrawing your hand and then brushing your hair to the side is NOT good body language at all.

But why is Melania so mad at Donnie Freedom? The prevalent theory is that Melania wanted to merely be a trophy wife, not the First Lady of the free world. And now, not only has Trump dragged her into the whole mess, but he’s embarrassing them both as he does it. And their not even half of a year in.

Here’s to hoping she’s withholding sex until he steps down. Like a Margot Robbie in Wolf Of Wall Street type scenario.

  • COED Writer
    A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me -