Boston May Outlaw Glassware Because Too Many Drunk A**Holes Use Them As Weapons In Barfights

Boston has a reputation for being a pretty wild city with pretty wild people. If you’ve ever seen The DepartedBlack Mass, The TownGone Baby GoneThe Boondock SaintsManchester By The SeaMystic River, or literally any movie even remotely involving Boston, you’d think the entire place is filled with violent sociopaths. As it turns out, it actually is.
Recently, Boston has seen a spike in glassware-related bar fights. Two local bars (Minibar and Bond Lounge) have had their glassware used in brawls recently. In one instance, a customer smashed a bottle over the head of another (admittedly, it was New Year’s Eve so intoxication levels have to be considered). In the other case, one unruly patron punched another customer before chucking a glass at another.
While glassware attacks haven’t quite reached an epidemic level, the city of Bawstahn is starting to get worried. So much so, that they’re considering taking legal action.
“If we see a pattern of glass as a weapon it will no longer be allowed,” Christine Puglini, the chairwoman of Boston’s Liquor Licensing Board, told the Boston Globe.
Woah. Imagine having citizens that are so drunk and wild that you actually have to ban a kitchen item out of fear of violence. I’m sure Will Hunting would have a snappy legal retort were he on the cast. But since he’s just a fictional character, we’ll have to leave it up to real Bostonians.
“It makes no sense to offer a legal drug – alcohol – and blame the outcome on packaging,” Michael Anthony, manager at Boston bar Townsman, told the Globe. “So you’re also going to ban forks, knives, fruitcakes, and all items that could cause bodily harm, right?”
When all is said and done, banning glassware likely won’t solve the issue of drunken bar fights. Plus, what happens if someone insults Tom Brady? What, are you not gonna smash a glass over his head?

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