Subway's Pulled Pork & Fritos Sandwich Is A Crime Against Humanity

If you’ve ever read an article of mine, particularly about fast food, you’ll know I’m quite the hater. I haven’t eaten McDonald’s since I was a drunk high school student, which is arguably when the dumbest version of myself that has ever existed. I’ve argued that Taco Bell’s meat, when observed through an economic prism, simply cannot be safe for mankind. So while fast food Mexican and burger joints have found a way into my crosshairs during my time at COED, fast food sandwiches have not. Today is finally that day thanks to Subway.
Subway has been testing a new limited time Pulled Pork Crunch Sub with Chili Cheese Fritos at select locations in the Midwest, including Minnesota, Iowa, and Nebraska. Something tells me middle America and ill-conceived Subway concoctions are a match made in heaven, so Subway deserves some credit for rolling these out in the right places.
Let’s talk about the perpetually stinky (literally) Subway and their ‘Pulled Pork and Fritos’ sandwich. First of all, riddle me this: How is that pork being cooked? As far as I know, Subway doesn’t have a smoker, crock pot, or grill at its restaurant. Red flag, right off the bat.
Next, throwing chips on your sandwich is an all-time JV move. Not for people but as a business move. Putting chips on your sandwich is what children do. Putting chips on your sandwich is what stoners do. If you’re a restaurant chain, you should be leaving the sandwich-chipping to the customers. Let them buy the bag of chips and do it themselves. Business 101, Subway.
Here are some photos of the Pulled Pork Crunch sandwich if you’re into masochism or whatever.

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