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New Study Proves That If You Have An Android Instead Of An iPhone You Will Probably Die Alone


I’m kidding. Totally kidding. Droid users are totally fine. It just so happens that in my friend group the two or three dudes who have an Android also happen to be the worst with their phones. Not sure if that’s a coincidence but take it as you will. Actually, considering the findings of the study, Droid users seem to be the overall better people. According to the study published in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, people who buy Android phones are more honest and humble than those who pick iPhones. Apple users tend to be extroverted and likely to see their phone as a status object. This more or less directly correlates with my friends that use Droids versus the ones on iPhone. The Droid users just really don’t give a f*ck about their phone, while the iPhone users are just straight douchebags (Note: I’m one of the iPhone guys… Could ya tell?)

Via Daily Mail:

“A group of researchers from the University of Lincoln and Lancaster University studied hundreds of people and their relationships with their phones.

They found Android users are more likely to be older, male, more honest and agreeable people who are less likely to break the rules for their own gain and less interested in wealth and status.

In contrast, the study found iPhone users are younger, more than twice as likely to be women,  while being less concerned about owning a device favoured by most others.

This was the first study to show a link between people’s personality and the type of phone they choose, the researchers said.”

The researchers gave over 500 people several questionnaires about themselves and their attitudes towards their mobile phones. To be honest, I don’t know why they even needed to fund an actual scientific study. Had they just taken my approach and written down all their friends who have an iPhone, and who has an Android, they probably would have been able to figure these differences out.

  • COED Writer
    A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me -