What The Hell Happened On This Week's Westworld? A COED Recap

HBO’s latest prestige drama Westworld premiered last week, and so far it has lived up to all of the hype. The acting, writing, cinematography, production, and everything in between lives up to the extremely high standards of a prestige HBO drama.
For the premiere episode, I passed on doing a review. I wanted to actually enjoy, and absorb, everything Westworld had to offer. Scribbling notes for a review would only distract me from gathering the information I need to write one in the first place. However, now that we’re in week 2, we can get the ball rolling with our COED recaps.
If you followed our Game Of Thrones recaps, you’ll know that I like to review shows in a very laid back fashion. This is a college website, so this review was written as I sat in a room with my 5 other buddies. The reactions, opinions, and knowledge – or lack thereof – are both very collective, and very genuine. The quotes are live reactions- word for word.
So let’s get to it:

Westworld Episode 2 ‘Chestnut’ Recap

For all the idiots in the room, this is a RECAP so obviously SPOILERS ARE AHEAD. Now, let’s get to it:

(Editors Note: This is a college website, so this review was written as I sat in a room with my 5 other buddies. The reactions, opinions, and knowledge – or lack thereof – are both very collective, and very genuine. The quotes are live reactions- word for word.)

Episode 2, “Chestnut”, opens with Dolores, newly capable of harming living things, waking up in her bed and venturing outside in the middle of the night. A voice over asks if she ‘remembers’ as Dolores stares off into the distance.

Cut to a train, where two new guests are arriving. William, a first timer, and Logan, a regular, have different expectations of what the park should be. Clearly, William is the good guy of the group, and Logan is going to meet a violent end sooner than later.

“Finance douche with the loud mouth is dead within in the first season. Calling it.”

William is greeted by an absolutely fiiiineeeeeeeee Host (who happens to be played by Elon Musk‘s wife), whom he cannot tell is human or not.

“That’s the first robot on this show I’d smash. At first I was a little skeptical if I could get myself to do it … but I’m giving it to Ms. White Dress 8 days of the week.”

So Angela, the modeling robot, leads William to a changing room full of Old-Western clothes that are already in his size. She explains to him all the rules of Westworld and how it all works, while using a wayyyyyy to sexy voice. Dude hasn’t even made it into the park yet and he’s already being tempted. Angela asks if William wants any help changing, to which William asks what most people do. Angela comes on to him hardddddd AF, telling him he can do whatever he wants with her. Like the Grade-A pussy that this guy will prove to be, he says no.)

“NOPE! Sorry. That’s the most unrealistic thing I’ve seen on this show yet. There is zero chance in hell that anyone is turning that chick down after she made a move that hard. My own mother would f*ck that robot lady.”

We’re now visting in with Bernard and Elsie for the first time. Don’t feel bad if you don’t know who they are, because I didn’t either — I had to look them up for this review. Bernard is the black scientist dude who is 1000% scheming on the low. Dude’s up to something. And Elise is like his sidekick — she’s the one who like kissed a robot in a very uncomfortable fashion in the first episode.

They are discussing what is wrong with the cognition of Peter Abernathy, the malfunctioning robot from the premiere. They mention Dolores, worrying that what was wrong with Abernathy could be contagious. Bernard says that Dolores was cleared to re-enter the park (but as I pointed out earlier, he’s definitely schemining, and knows that she isn’t).

We’re back in the park for the first time since the opening scene, and Dolores seems to be doing her daily routine on Main Street. That is until a mysterious voiceover pops up — the same as in the opening scene — telling her to ‘remember’. Dolores dramatically turns around, and sees that the once lively town is now draped in dead bodies. It’s some f*cked up shit. A direworlf runs by (miss you Thrones — not an actual dire wolf, just a regular wolf). Maeve, the prostitute played Thandie Newton, pops up to say some condescending shit. Dolores’ metaphorical answering machine picks up, as she drops her “these violent delights have violent ends” line. Is she going to be saying that until the series finale? We hope not.

We return to William, where he has everything he needs to enter Westworld … except for a hat. Angela gives him the tantalizing choice of white and black (good & evil), and William unsurprisingly chooses white. Clearly, he’s going to be good guy going forward. Also unsurprisingly, his boy is decked out in all black. Real subtle LOGAN. Real original pal.

“Are finance douche and Ed Harris f*ck buddies or something?”

William and Logan enter the park. Logan continues his trend of being the least likeable character on the show — and this is a show where Ed Harris rapes people. Logan rambles on some high-horse bullshit about the park, and honestly, I’m ready for his violent end.

“F*ck it! I want this dude dead by episode 5.”

Back in the park now, where some poor sucker Host is about to be hanged.

“Wait … so you’re telling me this one robot’s entire existence is to be hanged every day? What kind of sadistic shit is that?”

Ed Harris, whose official character name is Man in Black. Anyway Harris trots over on his horse cocky as all hell. We find out the condemned man’s name is Lawrence. They get in a shoot out and obviously Ed Harris bodies the whole squad. He frees Lawrence — it’s clear they have a past relationship. Harris shows Lawrence the scalp he cut off last week, showing the maze. He wants Lawrence’s help. Ed Harris ties him to his horse, and continues on his way.

“Honestly, f*ck this guy. I’d run around with my d*ck swiningin’ low too if I knew I couldn’t die.”

Anyway, now where back with Maeve, where she’s doing prostitute things. In the middle of her little speech to a potential client, she seems to go haywire and begins to have similar visions to the one Dolores had. The scene cuts and she’s being interogatted by one of the creators — they’re talking about modifying her settings, and if it doesn’t work, they’ll need to decommission her.

We’re now with Anthony Hopkins character for the first time this week, Robert Ford, and Bernard, where they discuss more sciency shit about the Hosts. Bernard says that the photograph alone that Peter Abernathy found in the first episode couldn’t possibly be what caused his malfunction — that there had to have been some sort of ‘outside interference’.

Back to the park again, where we check in with Logan and William. William bumps into some dude, he puts his hand on his pistol. This is going to be important going forward, because that SAME host did the SAME exact thing to James Mardsen’s character (Teddy) in the premiere episode. Go back and look if you don’t believe me — same guy, same aggressive action, two episodes in a row. That host is looking for trouble. Logan turns back to said host and yells ‘f*ck you Grizzly Adams’ proving that not only is he a tool, but he also isn’t very funny.

William and Logan are wandering through town when they see a man fall off a horse and into the mud. William tries to help him, but Logan stops him, warning that he will get roped into some bullshit adventure. It’s at this point that William notices Dolores for the first time.

Speaking of Dolores, she catches her reflection in a store window. The scene cuts to a conversation between Dolores and Bernard. Bernard makes sure that Dolores hasn’t told anyone ‘about their little talks’ (plural!), to which Dolores responds that she hasn’t. ‘You told me not to’ she says. Dolores asks Bernard if he’s done something wrong, to which Bernard promptly responds by acting supremely sketchy. Like I said, our boy (?) Bernard is scheming on the low.

“I knew it! I f*cking knew it! Dude is wayyyyy to calm to not be scheming. He’s the one putting the robots on steroids.”

Back to Maeve with her new and improved settings, where she’s hitting a woman. She is clearly more aggressive than she was before. She strikes up and conversation with Teddy. Teddy promptly gets blown the f*ck away by a random customer.

“Our boy James Mardsen is gonna be in for hell. He’s died easily at least four times and we haven’t even gotten through the second episode. It’ll be a miracle if he makes it through the first season. Guy eats bullets like it’s his job”

We’re up to the lead office where they are discussing decommissioning Maeve — tonight will be here last night on the floor. We catch up with Bernard and the apparent head of the park or whatever, you know, the one who smokes cigarettes. Her character’s name is Theresa.

“This bitch! She’s a robot! I know it. I’m calling it. You heard it hear first. F*cking robot.”

Bernard and Theresa discuss the launch of the new story line, and the malfunctioning robots. Bernard acts chill af, which is directly proportionate to how sketchy he’s being.

Back with Logan and William who are enjoying a nice dinner. Logan gives another bloviated douchebag speech, when the old man who William helped earlier comes over to offer them an opportunity. They turn him down twice, and on the third time, Logan stabs him in the hand. Logan is still a douche.

“Next week. This f*cking guy needs to die NEXT WEEK.”

Logan and William split up with different prostitutes. Logan is with two rando chicks and a dude, while William is with the gorgerous one with the big eyes (Clementine). We find out that William has ‘someone special’ waiting for him at home. Shady.

We are now with the head writer — the British dude who is always complaining. I’m not even going to look up his name because he’s such a shitty character and we all hate him. He has a meltdown about one of the Hosts noses. This dude is the worst. Theresa pulls him aside and asks if Ford has even approved of the storyline yet. Which he hasnt. We check in with Ford to find out that he has in own private entrance into the park. He runs into a little boy who seems to be on vacation with his family. They go on a walk together. There is more going on here then we realize.

The scene jumps to the Man in Black and Lawrence. Man in Black brings Lawrence to his hometown, and sits him down at a table. They begin drinking shots when Lawrence “wife” and “daughter” show up. The Man in Black brought Lawrence to his hometown to use his wife’s and daughter’s lives against him to find out about the maze, specifically how to get to the entrance. Lawrence is adamant that he doesn’t know anything about a maze. Lawrence’s cousins show up and begin a shootout. The Man In Black predictably lights them up. It jumps to the main office where they are discussing the Man in Black, saying he’s already taken down an entire posse. The dude in charge says that the Man in Black gets ‘whatever he wants’. Back to the Man In Black, who kills Lawrence’s wife. Here’s where it gets interesting, Lawrence’s daughter finally speaks. She says: ” The maze isn’t meant for you. Follow the blood arroyo to the place where the snake lays it’s eggs.” No one has any clue what that means, but we’ll find out one day. The Man in Black leaves town with Lawrence tied to his horse yet again.

Off to Ford and the random kid he found. Ford looks upon a steeple type object in the distance. The little boy turns out to be a host. They don’t say it explicitly but it’s certainly implied.

We cut to Bernard and Theresa and whatttttt they’re lovers. Did NOT see that one coming at all.

The episode closes with Bernard and Ford walking up on that same chapel from earlier. Ford says he has a new storyline coming. We go back to Dolores — it’s the same scene from the opening. She digs up a gun buried near her house. The gun appears to be buried the same way the picture was in the premiere. That gun can probably hurt guests. Episode over.

The Daily Show's Response To The "Watters' World" Chinatown Segment Is A++
The Daily Show's Response To The "Watters' World" Chinatown Segment Is A++
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