A Non-Profit Called 'Parents Against Pot' Published 10 Reasons Not To Date A Stoner And I Haven't Laughed This Hard All Week

PEOPLE. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: it’s 20-16. As Bobby D used to croon, the times are a changin’. Today, there are approximately 13 genders. There is virtual reality porn. Donald Trump is an ACTUAL presidential candidate. Facebook, if it were a country, would be the third largest on the planet. It’s a brave new world out there, and the antiquated ways of the past are falling by the wayside.
One of those antiquated ways of the past is the stigma that surrounds the chronic. I’ve only been on this Earth for 23 years, and only partying for about 8 of them, and even to me, it’s painfully obvious how much less harmful marijuana is than everyone’s beloved alcohol. I mean, f*ckin’ A, according to the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (they couldn’t have come up with a shorter name, doe?), nearly 88,000 people die from alcohol-related causes annually. In 2014, alcohol-impaired driving fatalities accounted for 9,967 deaths. But yet here people are, like the non-profit organization ‘Parents Opposed to Pot,’ still banging their fists on the metaphorical table in an effort to eradicate the devil’s lettuce.
So, righttttt, the Parents Opposed to Pot, or POPPOT, are an actual, functioning entity, who recently published a list of 10 reasons not to date a stoner. The funniest part is that their website is as outdated as their beliefs are, making this whole thing even more ironic.

Anyway, without further ado (keep in mind this is a totally real list that a real breathing person used their brain to write) :

Ten Reasons NOT to Date a Stoner

1. Financially Unstable. The stoner lifestyle may not seem to interfere with your relationship until it begins to put a strain on your finances. When you are dating someone who begins to spend excessive time and money on marijuana, you may be left responsible for picking up the slack.
2.  Addiction Takes Priority. Despite the claims of many who say marijuana is not addictive, marijuana dependency exists. According to a study done by Samhsa.gov in 2012, over 1.5 million Americans under the age of 26 were found to be addicted to marijuana. There is no way of knowing whether your friend will become a full blown addict. But if it does become an addiction, it will dictate and often interfere with daily life due to the dependency.
3. Competing with a Drug. A relationship is more likely to collapse when an individual expresses a greater interest towards a substance than towards their partner. See one woman’s story: I Smoked Marijuana for Love
4. Guilt. You may experience feelings of decreased self-esteem and self-worth when you feel obligated to “accept” his or her addiction/lifestyle despite your own disapproval.
5. Fertility and Parenthood. Smoking marijuana has been linked with decreased sperm counts and chances for fertility, which could complicate a couple’s attempt to have a child. Furthermore, even if fertility is not compromised, do you really want to expose your children to a mind altering drug? See this fact sheet from Health Canada to learn about the many other risks involved with the use of marijuana, even for medical purposes.
6. Lack of energy. Relationships take work, and being friends with a stoner may not last when your partner’s motivation is decreased by his or her pot habit. Your boyfriend or girlfriend will make less effort and less desire to make you the priority.
7. Activists Like to Cause a Racket. If he or she is an activist… good luck. A majority of marijuana users are also “politically active and energized” according to Ed Gogek, and their “allegiance to the drug” consumes their social calendar and Facebook newsfeed. Evenactivists will admit to the excessive amount of time and energy they spend at social gatherings and meetings where they aspire to make noise and fight the battle for legalization.
8. Say Goodbye to the Simple Pleasures. If you are dating a frequent user it is likely that they will rarely be satisfied with the simple pleasures in life unless they are high. This may lead to a major disconnect between the two of you.
9. Fear of the Unknown. Perhaps the scariest part of dating a marijuana user is the fear of what may come next. Just because you begin dating someone who’s habit seems harmless, there is no way of knowing what it could evolve into, whether it be addiction, mental illness, depression, or in some cases the exploitation of other harmful drugs. Check out this story of a teen whose marijuana habit led him down a path towards heroin abuse.
10. Dealing with Mood Swings. There are highs and lows involved in any relationship, however, it is important to realize that with a stoner, the literal highs will be high, but the lows may be extremely low. As with any other drug, there are withdrawal symptoms that accompany marijuana such as irritability, anger, aggression, and sometimes depressed mood.

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