The Flaming Sinking Ship That Is Chipotle Is Giving Away Free Burritos … Again

The hot dumpster fire that is Chipotle is yet again groveling at the knees of the American public, begging them to return via free burritos. The company is launching a new rewards program that’s tied to the number of times customers visit Chipotle per month. It’s called “Chiptopia Summer Rewards,” which is the three-month-long promotion that begins July 1, 2016. Still, I’m willing to be this has little to no impact on Chipotle’s standing with the American people.

How’s it work? Each month, customers can qualify for different status levels – called mild, medium, and hot – that come with different rewards. So, the more potentially poisonous food you buy, the more free potentially poisonous food you get back for free. What a deal!

Here’s how it works:

The first status level is “mild” and is achieved through four purchases of at least $6 per month. This earns you a free meal. The next status level is earned on the eighth visit and the “hot” status is earned after 11 visits. Customers who earn “hot” level in all three months can earn up to nine free meals over the course of the rewards program, plus a $240 “catering for 20” bonus reward.

Chipotle claims they are going to use their findings of Chiptopia Summer Rewards to develop a permanent rewards program, however, they fail to realize that no one give a sh*t, as essentially the entire world is trying to eat less Chipotle, not more.

But, in case you’re one of the lunatics level-headed people who desire more Chipotle in their life, here are the full details of the rewards program:

  • To participate, customers can visit any U.S. Chipotle starting July 1 to pick up a Chiptopia card.
  • Customers then earn credit toward the various status levels for individual visits within the same month during which they spend a minimum of $6 before tax.
  • During each month of the program, a customer’s fourth, eighth and 11th visit and entrée purchase triggers a reward for one free entrée and elevates the customer to a new status level.
  • Redeemed rewards also count as a purchase toward reaching the next status level. Thus, customers purchase four entrées in any month of the program to earn mild status; eight entrées (one of which can be the free entrée earned for the mild level) to reach the medium level; and 11 entrées (another one of which can be the free entrée earned in the medium level) to unlock the hot level.
  • At the end of each month, purchase totals reset to zero, and participants begin again the following month.
  • A maximum of one visit (with a purchase of $6 or more) per member, per day counts toward Chiptopia rewards. Purchasing multiple entrées on the same day does not earn additional rewards (for example, if a customer buys three meals at one time or in the same day it only counts for one visit, not three).

Customers who achieve the same status level for three consecutive months in a row will be eligible for Bonus Rewards.

  • Achieving mild status all three months earns one additional free entrée.
  • Achieving medium status all three months earns $20 in Chipotle merchandise at store.chipotle.com.
  • Achieving hot status all three months earns catering for 20 (a $240 value).

Lol, Chipotle.

[h/t Business Insider]

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