Business Insider Names The 7 Smartest Things To Do With Extra Money, None Of Which Involve Getting Drunk, So Royally F*ck That

Business Insider released their list of the 7 smartest things one should do should they come across an extra $1000. But seriously, come on, Business Insider. who in the hell is that responsible with an extra $1000 in cash. Let’s check out this ass-clown of a list, shall we?
#1:  Start, or contribute more to, an emergency fund.

  • Business Insider, I been living off Ramen and Easy Mac the last couple years. My own fridge is in need of an emergency fund, let alone someone elses.

#2: Pay off lingering debt.

  • Nope. You know what they say: gotta spend money to make money.

#3: Put it to work.

  • You see what happened to Chipotle last year? No stock is safe. F*ck that.

#4: Set it aside for big purchases.

  • Ah, maybe. You mean like a Batmobile or something, right?

#5: Tap into work benefits.

  • Yo, IDK WTF that even means, Business Insider. Chill with the big words or Imma take them as disrespect.

#6: Treat yourself.

  • Finally! I can get on board with this one. I’ll treat myself, alright.

#7. Donate to a charity

  • This one too. We all have a charity that we love. Mine is called “Eric’s Bank Account” if you all want to donate.

So there you have it, Business Insider’s offensively stupid list of what you should do with extra money.
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(Since there are a lot of idiots out there, this article is purely satire. F*cking relax)
 

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