After Donald Trump threatened to go after Ted Cruz and his wife a few days ago, The National Enquirer beat him to the punch.
The rag magazine’s March 25th issue threw a huge bombshell into the 2016 GOP primary: Ted Cruz has allegedly been having an affair with five different women. Frankly I’m surprised he was able to get one, but five?! Something seems off and I’m calling bullsh*t… but I digress.
The Enquirer managed to maintain some form of integrity by not naming names and just publishing several pixelated photos. But because the Internet is full of geniuses, three of the women in those photos have been “identified.”
https://twitter.com/RobZicariShow/status/713254339570044928
So who the hell are these women? According to Twitter, here are their names, from right to left: Trump spokesperson Katrina Pierson, former Carly Fiorina staffer Sarah Isgur Flores, and former Cruz communications director Amanda Carpenter. Carpenter is married, while Flores and Pierson are not.
Of course a trending hashtag — #CruzSexScandal– has already taken over Twitter, and the reactions are pure gold:
https://twitter.com/Chris_Smoove/status/713298025452535808
https://twitter.com/chow3/status/713368700884094976
https://twitter.com/harikondabolu/status/713356738083348481
https://twitter.com/mike_is_bored/status/713356377620488192
https://twitter.com/BarstoolTrent/status/713353089797873666
https://twitter.com/aburnett3/status/713350267610259456
https://twitter.com/BigHeadSports/status/713347648250646528
https://twitter.com/JPopsie/status/713345028949671936
https://twitter.com/TheClemReport/status/713344925329448960
https://twitter.com/BlindMike_/status/713343457356591105
https://twitter.com/Crutnacker/status/713334681534537728
https://twitter.com/ccsuny/status/713328866954240000
https://twitter.com/theAlanLy/status/713285057943764992
https://twitter.com/HouseCracka/status/713409224336928768
https://twitter.com/LeCombat/status/713409204187320320
https://twitter.com/dixonshuman/status/713407586834456576
https://twitter.com/JaredWyand/status/713262697224269824
Even if this isn’t true, those were absolutely hilarious. The magazine’s allegations come just days after Donald Trump accused Cruz of using compromising photos of his wife to further his campaign, to which Cruz profusely denied. Naturally, this didn’t satisfy the GOP frontrunner, who then shot back with this tweet:
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/712457104515317764
Was this the secret he was dying to out? We’ll be keeping an eye on his Twitter… you know those comments will be coming any minute now.
UPDATE:
Donald Trump has since addressed the scandal on Twitter, his favorite platform:
https://twitter.com/LogicalReverie/status/713407266637103104
Ted Cruz has been tweeting up a storm, but has yet to respond to allegations.
UPDATE:
Ted Cruz has finally responded to the accusations on Facebook: