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It’s the most wonderful time of year, right? Or so they say. I love Christmas just as much as the next person, but now that we’re technically adults, it’s lost a bit of its magic. Long gone are the Christmas Eves spent tracking where Santa was around the world, and instead we’ve traded those moments in for debt, debt, and more debt.
Dear Santa, if you could give me financial security, a sense of purpose, a satisfying sex life, and maybe throw in a bottle of wine, that’d be great. Until then, here’s why we can relax for the next 364 days:
1. You don’t have to hear that damn Mariah Carey song anymore.
Let’s be honest, Christmas music is crap.
2. Your wallet can stop crying.
And my entire bank account, tbh.
3. You don’t have to see another Christmas decoration.
Until like, August.
4. Any sort of commute was a nightmare.
Whether you’re just trying to go to work or rushing home for the holidays, there are literally zillions of people everywhere.
5. Those awkward family dinner questions that you don’t have an answer to can wait another year.
When maybe you’ll have better responses.
6. The pressure is off from your gf.
Unless her birthday is in January. In which case, I apologize.
7. You don’t have to wait in enormous lines.
Just to buy a candle.
8. You can finally buy yourself a gift.
And not feel guilty about it.
9. You no longer have to hear people get offended when you say, “Merry Christmas!”
Take your ‘Happy Holidays’ and shove it.
