Best of Reddit: Redditors Talk College Roommate Horror Stories & We're Really Glad We're Not These Guys

Remember your first college roommate? If you’re anything like me, you lucked out. Despite the subtly annoying weird habits and hidden binges on the food my mom brought me once a month (those are MY cookies!!!!), everything worked out rather nicely.
After reading the AskReddit thread What are your worst college roommate horror stories? [NSFW], I’m now convinced more than ever that I had it good.
Between being psychopathic, deranged, or straight-up creepy (if you’re going to jerk-off maybe do it in the bathroom or something?), I’m surprised these people actually stayed in school. I commend you all!
Check out the best responses below.

roommate decided to microwave a towel to put on his sore neck. he did not wet the towel prior which caused it to catch on fire. he then started to freak out and threw the flaming towel across the room landing onto our makeshift curtains, which were constructed of bed sheets and various clothing items. in a frantic adrenaline fueled state i proceeded to pull down and stomp out all burning textiles. his dumb ass nearly caught our room and the whole goddamn building on fire – extra_element


Moved into what had been a single up until spring semester. Roommate (never actually met him) had cleared one entire side of the room and painted a gruesome and bloody crucifixion larger than life on the wall. Apparently that was to be my side of the room. I noped my stuff back out and never returned again. –p01yg0n41


My roommate in college used my toothbrush to clean the toilet and then put it back. He didn’t tell me. I went to use it later that night and there were brown pieces of shit and toilet scum on it. When I asked what was up, he readily admitted to it and acted as if he did nothing wrong.
He was also the guy that took food from any food shelf donation bin he could find because he was a “poor college student.” – DuLL_ExIsTeNz


Towards the end of the year I walked in on my roommate jerking off a LOT; up to three times on some days.
It got to the point where I’d pretend to yell to my friends down the hall things like “I’ll be there in a minute. Let me just grab something from my room real quick” just to buy him a few seconds of time to close out of his tabs (he’d watch porn at his desk right in front of the door) and pull his pants on. – YesLikeTheJeans


My roommate said he didn’t need to bathe because the chlorine at swim practice cleaned him. He would also play wow real loud. I could hear every spell. – DownvoteDaemon


I had a roommate who thought it was funny to change my alarm clock setting from am to pm at night. Then she’d gaslight me and tell me I must have set it wrong. Every time I would reset it and it would be fine the rest of the week and come Monday it would be switched again. I finally caught her when I woke up one night while she was changing it.
Ever since that year, I only use 24 hour time. – persephone11185


 
My roommate in the dorms wore a puppet on her shoulder and if you asked her a question she would answer with the puppet. It was a puppet of a griffin, which is a mythological creature that’s a combination of lion and eagle. It sucked. We also had all the same classes together and I woke up late more than once to that damn puppet in my face telling me the time. – Untereq


My roommate was kicked out of school a month after I moved in, and basically never left our apartment. She was obsessed with her cat. As the year went on she began talking through the cat to me on a regular basis. For example, I’d get home and instead of saying hi, she would say “Leena was wondering where you were.” If I slept late on weekends she would text me “Leena misses you.” It got to the point she hardly ever spoke to me directly, just as the cat. It was simultaneously super creepy and annoying. I was overjoyed to finally move out. – latche

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