SPAM is Available in Bite-Sized Snacks For Easier Regurgitation

After spending 78 years in can form, questionable food product SPAM is breaking out into bite-sized dried pieces available in shiny bags.
This is the literal definition of “put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig”
Currently only available in select areas, including Hawaii, the new product will be available in Bacon, Teriyaki, and Classic flavors, whatever the f*ck that means.
On the bright side, it’s only $2.39 a bag. Which is the least the company can do after making this available to the public.
But honestly – our stomachs are churning in agony. Do people really eat this shit?! We’d rather have a feast of cardboard.
Who’s coming to dinner?!