If you’ve ever questioned why you enjoy being tied up and gagged with a ball chained to your face during your boning sessions, it’s probably because you have serious life issues you need to work out with a psychiatrist. Or you could blame it on the month you were born – either or. I’d say you go with the latter, it’s less expensive.
Luckily you’re not alone in that thought – astrologer Suzie Kerr Wright would say the same. Beloved women’s mag Cosmopolitan discussed how your birthday affects your sex life with the astrologer and we learned a few interesting things.
Here’s a few sexual characteristics she came up with for each month:
January
Persistent when interested
Kinky
February
Adventurous
Passionate
Emotionally distant – we heard women love this.
March
Spends as much time in bed as possible – because they are unemployed.
Has spiritual and bonded sex
Takes sex to new heights of intimacy
April
Unstoppable when interested
Gives everything in bed
Burns hot in the moment but once done, is done
May
Wants sex to feel comfortable
Sex machine who can’t get enough
Wants to make love on satin sheets or not at all – what the f*ck is going on with you, May?
June
Tries new sex positions
Super intense
Loves phone sex – because they’re more likely to go to prison?
July
Must feel emotionally connected
Loyal
Loves to give satisfaction
August
Either extremely selfish or extremely generous
Hates being told what to do in bed
Shows off skills as much as possible
September
Passionate
Will try anything
Must feel emotional connection
October
Anticipates great sex
Doesn’t rush
Great at seduction
November
Possessive
Wants to be possessed – as in, by Satan?
Will try anything
December
Creative
Loves to roleplay
Fun
[H/T: Cosmopolitan]
