The geniuses at the United States Post Office have put together a series of commemorative postage stamps honoring five chefs “for inspiring the American public to expand its collective palates.” They really screwed it up, too. There’s this James Beard guy who wrote a lot of books, and Joyce Chen helped to make Chinese food a big deal, but it doesn’t mention anything about what she did for takeout technology. Either she invented those little food buckets, or GTFO.
We know that Julia Child was played by Meryl Streep in a movie, so she must be important. We’ll respect Edna Lewis for bringing Southern food to New York City, but also because she once cooked a meal for Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis (no relation). And this Felipe Rojas-Lombardi guy invented the idea of the tapas restaurant–and that’s okay if you want to get drunk on sangria, but then you have to order about a dozen different things if you want to feel like you’ve had a full meal.
So we’ve spent the past several hours pondering the great chefs who really deserve to get licked by Jennifer Lawrence and other female celebrities who we like to fantasize about when it comes to licking stamps. Take a look at the Official COED line of Celebrity Chefs Stamps, and appreciate how much these important figures have contributed to fine dining. Also, we suggest you protest the USPS by using our stamps instead of their stupid stamps. Unless it’s illegal to suggest something like that, in which case we were just hacked and we’re contacting the proper authorities…
