Guy Tries to Have Sex With…Drink Cart, This Time

A man in Scotland caught trying to make sweet love to a drinks cart on a train was sentenced by a court presumably through a wave of stifled laughter. Andrew Davidson received a 100-hour community service order from a sheriff’s court in Perth for the alleged assault on the drink trolley. [Image via Loozrboy/Flickr]
According to Metro, Davidson was riding the train sometime last July and (surprise!) he had one too many alcoholic beverages in his system at the time of the incident. Witnesses said that he had started to become belligerent and unruly among his fellow passengers. At one point, he tried to grope a female passenger and kiss a member of the train’s wait staff before a certain drink trolley caught his eye. Another witness reportedly heard the man screaming “I want to kiss you, I want to f#&$ you” while he was having his way with the trolley. He later fell to the ground, starting rubbing his chest and talking out loud “about what he wanted to do to his boyfriend.”
Of course, Davidson doesn’t remember any of this because he was so intoxicated and it’s really not a memory that most human beings would like to retain unless you’re really into having interesting stories to tell at dinner parties. The most amazing part is that he doesn’t have to register as a sex offender because “the sexual element of the case was not deemed to be significant.” Tell that to the poor bastard who had to clean the drink trolley after he was done with it.