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Martin Shkreli Is Such a D-Bag That Court Can't Find Jurors Who Don't Already Hate Him

Imagine being such a heinous D-bag that it was proving impossible to find just 12 people in a city of millions that think maybe, just maybe, you aren’t as huge of a D-bag as you seem. That’s the predicament Martin Shkreli finds himself in as the Brooklyn federal court is struggling to find 12 jurors for his fraud trial.

What Happened?

Shkreli, the 34-year-old founder of Retrophin Inc and Turing Pharmaceuticals AG, is accused of defrauding investors in two hedge funds and using $11 million of Retrophin assets to pay them off, according to Bloomberg.
Shkreli’s legal troubles followed a public destruction of his character and image after he increased the price of an AIDS drug by 5,000 percent while he was running Turing Pharmaceuticals. People were understandably disgusted with him on that one.
As a result, it’s hard to find anyone who doesn’t hate this dude’s guts. Over the course of eight hours, lawyers questioned the 178-person Brooklyn federal court pool…and dismissed 134 of them for prejudices against Shkreli related to his polarizing track record.
Via Bloomberg:

The first potential juror interviewed Monday, a young woman in her 30s, called Shkreli “an evil man.” Another woman said she knew he’d been labeled “the most hated man in America,” while a third woman declared, “I looked right at him and, in my head, I said ‘that’s a snake.”’
One woman, who pretended to wring Shkreli’s neck, said, “I honestly don’t think I could be impartial.” Referring to Shkreli’s decision to hike the price of a drug by 5,000 percent, she asked “Who does that?” She then answered her own question: “A person who puts profit over everything else.”

Via New York Post:

One young man, who mentioned Shkreli’s $2 million purchase of the only copy of the Wu-Tang Clan album “Once Upon a Time in Shaolin,” answered the judge: “Honestly? Because he kind of looks like a dick.”

The search for 12 jurors and six alternates is ongoing.
Shkreli faces up to 20 years in prison if convicted of securities fraud charges. Who here thinks he’d do well in prison? That’s what I thought.

John Cena's 15th Anniversary Memes: Best Jokes, Funny Photos, GIFs & Videos
John Cena's 15th Anniversary Memes: Best Jokes, Funny Photos, GIFs & Videos