Because parents need a day off too. So July 24th it is. Parents’ Day is a fake holiday where parents get together, drink wine and commiserate behind their children’s backs.
Considering the kind of sh*t they have to go through in order to ensure the survival of the species, parents are essentially rock stars.
Parenthood means endless hours on the road with too many people in the vehicle, entertaining a carful of loud, writhing maniacs. Parenthood means you have a secret stash of chocolates, because frankly, you’re sick of sharing. Parenthood means your name is always shouted, never spoken; your clothes are always tugged at; your trips to the bathroom are always accompanied by grouplings, uninvited.
When you do your job well, people ask, “When are you going to produce more?”
When you don’t do your job well, people ask, “Did you forget to use protection?”
You know you are a parent, when you regard going to the grocery store by yourself as a vacation.
You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, which is kind of the same thing. On this special day, go get yourselves an ice cream, maybe even two ice creams. You deserve it!