STUDY: PUBIC GROOMING INJURIES RISE 500%

A research paper published in the medical journal Urology  has analyzed the rate of pubic hair grooming mishaps. Yes, we’re talking about mishaps from home-grooming amateurs. Even worse, we’re talking about mishaps that ended up with trips to the emergency room. The experts looked at the data from 2002 to 2010, and found that such incidents increased fivefold over those years. We mentioned that these are incidents that required trips to the ER, right?
The main culprit in all this muff-mangling turns out to be (ouch) the common shaving razor, which came into play in 83% of the injuries across the board. At 36.6%, laceration (cringe) was the most common wound, followed by rashes, abrasions, and (yow) burns. General grossness was not specifically assessed.
The study found women more at risk of rug-removal ruptures than men, with the ladies clocking at 56.6%. The single demographic most prone to pube-plucking peril is women aged 19 to 28. The body part most frequently sliced in the process of leveling loin-locks is external female genitalia. We’re sorry that you had to read that. We don’t particularly like typing these kinds of things, either.
The good news amidst all this trim trauma is that only 1% of the damaged vaginas and mishandled manhoods required admittance to the hospital. Let’s hear it for the 1%, folks! And, as the study states, “no deaths were identified.”
Still, American Apparel’s recent shock stunt of placing curly-crotched mannequins in their store windows seems like a safety PSA. “The more you grow”—you know?