Apple Finally Solves Their Biggest Problem, Adds Bald Emojis

Finally, Apple!

After years of conning us into buying new headphones and chargers, slow-rolling out old technology but pawning it off as new, screens that seem to crack on purpose, and mysterious malfunctions when new iPhones come out, Apple has finally solved their biggest issue: they’ve added a bald emoji!

Thank god, the bald people, and of course, the criminally under-represented red-headed African-Americans of the world, have finally been turned into generic cartoon characters. If achieving widespread equality is a war, then consider this battle won.

But those aren’t the only new emojis in Apple’s latest series, as a report from MacRumors says they will be adding “70+” emojis:

Apple plans to introduce more than 70 new emoji characters, with options for red hair, gray hair, curly hair, and no hair, along with smiley faces that include cold face, party face, pleading face, and face with hearts.

Superheroes, an eye-shaped nazar amulet, and an infinity symbol will be added, along with new animals such as kangaroo, peacock, parrot, and lobster. New food items include mango, lettuce, cupcake, and mooncake. Apple says that it is working with the Unicode Consortium to add additional disability-themed emoji to Unicode 12, which is set to be released in 2019.

Developers can get the new emoji right now by downloading the iOS 12.1 update, and Apple says the software will also be available for public beta testers later in the day.

Our biggest takeaway? Now you can use a peacock emoji when quoting¬†The Other Guys: “I’m a peacock, you gotta let me fly!”

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