Florida Man Takes His Pet Gator To Grab Some Beer Because Duh

Look, they say those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, so as someone who has walked into liquor stores in various states of untidiness, I’ll try and curb my take a little bit.

But that said, I mean, this has to be the most Florida thing to ever Florida, right? You’ve got a thin white dude with a straggly beard, a 30 rack of shitty beer, a camouflage hat, and an alligator. That’s like the Chicken and Broccoli of Floridaness.

Is there any rhyme or reason to why Robby (yup, he’s since been identified as Robby Stratton) rolled into the minimart toting an alligator? Of course not. In fact, according to Robby, he doesn’t even remember being there.

Speaking to Action News Jax, Stratton said:  “I don’t even remember coming up here. This store sells some good liquor and I drank a lot of it that night.”

via Orlando Sentinel:

He brought an alligator into a Jacksonville convenience store to help him with his purchase. Now the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is investigating the incident.

“They told me what I did was stupid and I’ll be facing charges here soon and probably go to jail, probably not,” Stratton told Action News Jax. “We’ll see.”

The TV station posted two videos, first of Stratton and a group of men after the gator, which appeared to be 4-5 feet in length, was captured. One of the men stepped on the alligator’s snout. He then grabbed it by the neck, held it aloft and yelled:

“Florida State, baby! Florida State, baby! Florida State, baby!”

Classic.

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