If anyone knows a thing or two about stretching a budget, it’s college students. But if you’re a college student looking for a few extra bucks, the University of Arizona has a real entrepreneurial opportunity for you. Sure, it may result in you getting beat up and becoming the worst person on your campus, but it pays $10 an hour!
Arizona is seriously offering students well above the minimum wage to spy on your peers and annoy them about their social responsibilities by becoming a “social justice advocate.” I wish I was making this up.
According to the university’s website, a social justice advocate (SJA) “will be responsible for instituting monthly programmatic efforts within the residence hall that focuses specifically on social justice issues. This includes putting up a bulletin board in the campus hallways and being prepared to lead “social justice modules once a month.”
The nobody-is-buying-this-BS program will also “openly lead conversations, discuss differences, and confront diversely insensitive behavior.” SJAs are expected to snitch on their peers when they are not complying with the social justice standards. That’s right, Arizona actually wants young adults to “report any bias incidents or claims to appropriate Residence Life staff.” It’s like none of these people ever went to high school…or middle school…or elementary school. Damn, this is straight up nuts.
Students who break the SJA code will receive – and I’m not kidding – “real talks” from the SJA. I’m trying not to laugh but it’s not working.
The school wants students to know that it expects them to take these SJAs seriously.
“The position also aims to increase understanding of one’s own self through critical reflections of power and privilege, identity and intersectionality, systems of socialization, cultural competency, and allyship as they pertain to the acknowledgement, understanding, and acceptance of differences.”
The objective of the job is to “increase a student staff member’s ability to openly lead conversations, discuss differences, and confront diversely insensitive behavior.”
I could spend all day explaining the many, many reasons why this program is ridiculous, but instead I’ll let my man Al Pacino explain why snitches get stitches in one of my favorite film scenes of all time.