I’ve hated Iceland with every fiber of my being since March 25, 1994, as that’s when D2: The Mighty Ducks hit theaters. But as much as I’d still love to knock the hair product right off of Wolf Stansson’s cocky dome piece, I have to admit that the President of Iceland is making a whole lot of sense right now.
Guðni Th. Jóhannesson made a bold statement recently in regards to a diabolical pizza topping, and I can only hope that the rest of the free world follows his lead. Here’s CNN with the scoop on this pressing matter.
After taking questions from students at a high school in North Iceland, one bold pupil asked Johannesson what he thought about pineapple as a pizza topping. The president held nothing back expressing his disdain for the pairing. He also said if he had the power to pass laws, he’d ban it across the land, the local news site Visir reported.
If Donald Trump wants to get the American people on his side, this is what he needs to do. Instead of worrying about immigrants, he should place his focus on this sinister fruit’s unrelenting quest to ruin one of our country’s most beloved delicacies. Pineapples as a pizza topping is a serious problem that has been doing its damnedest for years to try to tear apart the very fabric of this great nation. It’s finally time to put an end to this bullshit once and for all.
In a related note, I would eat the f*ck out of all of these border wall inspired pizzas that are popping up. I may hate pineapples on my pizza, but I am still a huge fan of gluttony.