The New 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' Rumors Are LIT AF

Living in the age of the internet can really blow sometimes. Despite Skype and Netflix and porn and Google and the cloud and all the other revolutionary services that the world wide web provides us, the internet can be a dangerous place. And I’m not even talking about the dark web.

I’m talking about f*cking spoilers. We’ve all been a victim of spoilers. There you are, minding your own business scrolling through Twitter or Facebook or whatever bullshit social media application you’re using. Maybe you’re looking for a funny video of a dog kicking its owner in the dick to watch while you sit on the bowl. And then, like a quarterback getting blindsided, a spoiler works its way into your eyesight. The worst part about spoilers is that when you come across them, your brain can somehow process information at a faster rate than ever before, and before you know it, you’ve ingested all of the information involuntarily.
So, as a man who’s had too many movies and television shows ruined at the hand of another, I’m going to put THREE GIFs between the end of this sentence and the Star Wars rumors to avoid practicing exactly what I preach against.
Okay, are we clear you idiots? This post contains spoilers.
Go ahead and geek out if you wish.

The new report about Star Wars: The Last Jedi details a major sequence for Finn, recovered from his battle with Kylo Ren on Starkiller Base, and how he’ll use his First Order training to benefit the Resistance. In the sequence, Finn wears a First Order officer’s uniform, infiltrating a new First Order Super Star Destroyer. When he encounters a stormtrooper from his past (which they speculate is Tom Hardy‘s stormtrooper cameo), it’s clear that knowledge of what happened to Starkiller Base and FN-2187’s betrayal has not spread across the First Order as much as one might expect. Instead, the stormtrooper congratulates Finn on his promotion.
The infiltration sequence includes planting explosives along the Super Star Destroyer, over the red world described yesterday that’s likely the First Order’s primary base of operations. It’s quite a guerrilla tactic – perhaps they’ve taken some cues from Rogue One in how to mount their resistance now that the New Republic is all but wiped out.
As for the Star Destroyer itself, this new First Order model is a huge, dark wedge with no outcroppings. Gone are the major command modules seen on the Empire’s Star Destroyers, instead keeping it simple and stark. The standard Star Destroyer seen in Star Wars: The Force Awakens had a shorter top section, but also had a double-wedge upon it. No word in the description on whether this will be similar, looking almost as of one wedge is placed upon another.

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