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University Attempts Caffeine Experiment, Gives Students 100X The Intended Dosage

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This has to go on the Mount Rushmore of f*ck ups. Let me break this down for you swiftly and soundly. A university is defined as “an educational institution designed for instruction, examination, or both, of students in many branches of advanced learning.

So by this university almost killing their students during an instruction of advanced learning, they are literally doing the exact opposite of what their very purpose is. Picture a planet collapsing in on itself. Or a black hole. This university is so bad at its job, its purpose, its reason for being, that it’s causing a void in the universe.

Via BBC:

Sports science students Alex Rossetta and Luke Parkin were each given the equivalent of 300 cups of coffee and were admitted to intensive care for dialysis after the calculation error led to violent side-effects. The calculation had been done on a mobile phone, with the decimal point in the wrong place, and there was no risk assessment.

The students had volunteered to take part in a test in March 2015 aimed at measuring the effect of caffeine on exercise. They were given 30g of caffeine instead of 0.3g, Mr Farrer said.

Prosecutor Adam Farrer told the court the overdose “could easily have been fatal,” as death had previously been reported after consumption of just 18g.

The staff were not experienced or competent enough and they had never done it on their own before. “The university took no steps to make sure the staff knew how to do it,” Farrer said.

Peter Smith, defending, said the university wished to “emphasise that they take the welfare of their students and staff seriously.”

Northumbria University told Newcastle Crown Court it was “deeply, genuinely sorry” as it was fined £400,000.

Bad look for the Northumbria University. If you’re gonna let some first-time scientists try and experiment for the first time, have it be on plants or something. At the very least, don’t use one of the most addictive/potentially lethal drugs in the world.

Both Rossetta and Parkin have made a full physical recovery. It’s yet to be seen whether they become full blown crackheads.

COED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me - eric.italiano@teamcoed.com