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Bernie Madoff is currently serving 150 years in prison for running the largest Ponzi scheme in American history. I always assumed that his life would be a living hell in the clink. I thought his days would be filled with a steady diet of beatdowns, shankings, and nonconsensual shower sex, but I guess I was sorely mistaken.
Journalist Steve Fishman interviewed Madoff for a podcast, and it doesn’t seem like Madoff is doing too bad. Via MarketWatch, here are some quotes on life in prison for Madoff.
“He’s a star in prison. He stole more money than anyone in history, and to other thieves, this makes him a hero.” According to Fishman, he is frequently approached for financial advice, including by another inmate who was debating a stock purchase with his broker. “The guy later said he wished he had followed Bernie’s advice closer.”
Madoff, who opened his first business with money earned from working as a lifeguard, has even returned to entrepreneurship, albeit a crafty one.
“Bernie really was a successful businessman with quite original insights into the market, and he’s continued applying his business instincts in prison,” Fishman said. “At one point, he cornered the hot chocolate market. He bought up every package of Swiss Miss from the commissary and sold it for a profit in the prison yard. He monopolized hot chocolate! He made it so that, if you wanted any, you had to go through Bernie.”
Jesus Christ. You can take away a crook’s freedom, but you can’t take away their passion for swindling people out of their money. Greedy pricks like him know no bounds. He’ll probably buy up all of the Ramen Noodles and cigarettes next until he becomes the prison version of 7-Eleven. F*ck this guy. I wish somebody would take a gallon of scalding hot chocolate and throw it right in that scumbag’s face.
