This Investigation About How Often Hotels Clean Their Sheets Is Throw-Up City, USA

Welp, there goes my enjoyment of vacation for the rest of my life. Has no one ever hear of the credo “ignorance is bliss”? Motherf*cker man. We all KNEW the sheets at hotels were PROBABLY gross, but because it couldn’t be proved, it didn’t really matter. A ‘pics or it didn’t happen’ type of situation, ya know?
The a**holes in this situation, other than the hotels themselves, are Inside Edition, who decided to run this investigation. Inside Edition stayed in nine “upmarket” hotels in New York City and allegedly found THREE (33%?!?!) hadn’t changed or washed their bedding before new customers arrived. Yup, pure un-filtered nightmare juice right there.

According to the Daily Mail:

“At a Marriott Residence Inn in Manhattan, they sprayed a message using invisible paint, that easily comes off in the laundry, on the bottom sheet of the bed.

The words which can only be seen under a UV light read: ‘I slept here.’

The production team checked out, leaving the bed looking as though it was slept in. Later on they checked into the same room under a different name, and found the message was still on the bottom sheet.

They allegedly found the same thing happened at the The Candlewood Inn & Suites in Times Square and La Quinta Inn & Suites near Central Park.”

A manager at the Marriott was then called in, where he insisted each of the hotel’s sheets were changed between guests. Well, I mean, yeah, what else is he gonna say? “Ohhhhh. Jig’s up! Ya got me! We haven’t cleaned a sheet in years! In fact, the staff has bi-weekly orgies on this bed!”

A spokesman for the owners of The Candlewood Inn, the InterContinental Hotels Group, told Daily Mail:

“IHG takes great pride in setting stringent quality standards, which we take very seriously. Any claim that a hotel is not following the standards falls below our expectations. This incident serves as a reminder to all hotels to enforce this important standard.”

Representatives from La Quinta Inn told Daily Mail:

“At La Quinta Inns & Suites, we strive to provide a positive, consistent guest experience at all of our branded hotels. This includes providing a clean guestroom for every guest. We have reached out to the management team at this franchised location to understand what happened and have addressed the issue.”

While I take solace in the fact that I’ll never have to sleep in a New York City hotel because I live here, I am absolutely buggin’ over all of the hotels I’ve slept at in the past, and how gross they were.

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