I can say with a clear conscious that I will never in a million years “be the guy who will jump from one roof to another.” Not literally. Not figuratively. Not ever. Why? Because of stories like this idiot from the University of Pittsburgh who thought that actually doing so would be a quick ticket to impressing his girlfriend. Instead, now we’re talking about him here on COED… And that’s rarely a good thing.
It all started last night on Forbes Avenue in Pittsburgh, PA. After some drinks or dinner or whatever, this kid from Pitt brought his lady friend up to the rooftop for a peck on the cheek and some great views. But instead of taking her home or dropping her off, or whatever, homeslice decided that it’d be a good idea to try and jump a grand total of “16-18 inches” (actual size of the space he tried to jump) to impress her–presumably to seal the deal.
But instead of impressing her, this guy instead fell a hell of a ways down into the space between two buildings. Talk about a bummer.
So once he fell in between the buildings, I’m sure that his girlfriend immediately started panicking. Obviously, at first, she thinks he’s dead. Maybe the screams of terror and pain alerted her to the fact he wasn’t, though, so she called 911. Keep in mind that it’s the middle of the night, and this dude has just fallen between the walls of a Qdoba and Bruegger’s Bagels–two important food staples of the Oakland Pittsburgh area. It’s in everyone’s interest to get this situation sorted out quickly.
So the Pittsburgh Emergency Crew shows up and realizes that the only way to get this guy out of there is to break through the walls to get him. But in order to make sure that the necessary jackhammers don’t pierce this guy’s skull, they also need to send a rappel guy down the space to spot for them.
https://twitter.com/KatelynsWTAE/status/768040299293650944
https://twitter.com/KatelynsWTAE/status/768030423188377600
RIP All the early morning bagel people.
https://twitter.com/KatelynsWTAE/status/768042380738039813
I’d actually assume that this guy was way overweight, but judging from the video of him getting pulled into an ambulance after the whole debacle, he actually looks like he’s in good shape. Better shape than me, even.
Of course, he could have lost all that weight while he was trapped in between two walls, sweating profusely and pooping himself out of fear that the jackhammers breaking through the wall would accidentally kill him. But yeah, he looks like he’s in good enough shape to get a running start and clear a foot and a half.
https://twitter.com/KatelynsWTAE/status/768027863106846720
Anyways, all’s well that ends well. We feel pretty bad for the kid because he will always be known as that dude who fell in between buildings because he can’t jump 16 inches, but at least he knows it’s a big story. Check out the double thumbs up at the end of the video. That’s a guy who knows he’s going to be on the news.
