We’re pulling no punches here, this is an apparently true story about a college student who was caught choking himself with a belt and screwing a roasted chicken. If you do not want to read a story about that kind of stuff, then you’re reading the wrong thing…
The following story which we believe is true was pulled from a Reddit thread in which users told their “Craziest Dorm Stories.” Enjoy:
I lived in a coed dorm for a few years before moving into an apartment (for some reason, I thought it would be better) so I saw a bunch of stuff on a routine basis. But the one thing that I would classify as the craziest is when I went around the dorm with my friend who was an RA doing smoke alarm checks. He would knock and announce himself and wait for about a minute if nobody answered and knock again. If nobody answered he would key in. Everything was cool and nothing was exciting until we came across room 221. I will never forget what I saw. My friend swung the door open and took one step in as we were having a “deep” conversation about the “awesomeness” of John Lennon (typical college conversation) and there he was. A 300+ pound naked fat hairy guy with a belt wrapped around his neck tied to his bedframe f*cking a roasted chicken (like one that you would get from walmart). He obviously didn’t hear my friend knocking and was busy choking himself out while stuffing his f*ckchicken. Of all the crazy shit that I saw in college I will never forget that chicken.
EDIT I: This is a story about a dude f*cking a roasted chicken.
EDIT II: Removed unnecessary part of story.
EDIT III: Cool beans for the gold! Thank you kind stranger! It is my first so I will wear it proudly.
EDIT IV: So I never thought I would be in this position to have too many comments to respond to. I want to get to everybody but I won’t be working from home today so I have to get dressed and be “productive” so I will try to answer the recurring questions and suspicions.
- First of all, yes this did happen.
- I don’t know what led this man to use a roasted chicken as a sex toy…but he did.
- It isn’t my dick, so I don’t if f*cking a chicken would hurt. I don’t know which hole (or if any) he chose as his pleasure tunnel; we walked in and saw him f*cking something small, brown and shaped like a chicken it for a split (no pun intended) second and backed out. Afterwards we used deductive reasoning to conclude it was a roasted chicken. I don’t know if he f*cked the chicken’s ass or neck or cut out a place for him to f*ck.
- Neither of the guys in the “keep f*cking the chicken” video are related to the story, though my RA friend grew up to be a journalist and writes for television news so I don’t know if he has told the story to many people we had a falling out a few years afterwards so we haven’t spoken since college (ten years ago).
- No, we did not stick around to see if he came.
- I think we saw each other simultaneously. I think obscenities were exchanged as we quickly backed out of the room and he scurried behind the bed.
- I don’t know what it felt like.
- I didn’t f*ck the chicken.
- I’m a bad speller.
- He was on his knees on the floor with the belt around his neck and the bed.
- I don’t care if you believe it or not. You are on reddit and reading anything online requires a leap of faith. I am not going to waste my time trying to convince you that it happened.
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fopvzf77b8&w=640]
