Summers are made for three things: drinking beer, flings, and beach trips. But before you pack up for the latter, steer clear of the beaches listed below. Unless you’re not into keeping your limbs or social security number – then carry on your way.
New Smyrna Beach: Volusia County, Florida
Deemed “Shark Bite Capital of the World,” Florida’s infamous beach is known for its sharp-toothed residents and their enjoyment in taking chunks out of visitors’ flesh. Sorry, we had to. Although none of the bites from before 2014 have been fatal, there’s still a chance that will a change. A huge chance.
Maho Beach: St. Maarten
The probability of you being crushed by a commercial airline is high while soaking up the rays at Maho Beach. The St. Maarten spot is just feet away from an international airport. Since the runway is pretty short, the planes fly directly over the beach at minimal altitude and are noisy as all h*ll, so don’t even bother brushing up on your pick-up lines. It’s not going to happen.
Repulse Bay: Hong Kong
The name speaks for itself. The Hong Kong destination is nicknamed “Repulsive Bay” due to pollution from ongoing construction projects known to cause “red tide.” While it may just be algae, the organism is a threat to sea life and permeates swimmers’ skin with a stank you won’t be able to get off for days. No thanks.
Calangute Beach: Goa, India
Unless you’re totally cool with becoming buddy, buddy with a group of holy cows, then we suggest you skip out on this one. Not only will they come pop a squat underneath your umbrella, but there’s also nothing you can do about their presence: the cows’ spiritual significance gives them freedom to roam around wherever they please. Don’t question it.
Fujiazhuang Beach: China
Overcrowded doesn’t even begin to describe it. As New Yorkers, every place imaginable is packed with people: subway cars, pizza shops, apartments. But China’s Fujiazhuang Beach takes it to a whole new level. Tourists from nearby countries travel to the area because of the moderate climate and convenient location, but it could take hours to find a spot big enough for your beach towel. Sadly this is not a hyperbolic statement – you’ll be better off sucking it up and heading to the Jersey shore. Start practicing that fist pump.
Copacabana Beach: Rio de Janeiro
If you’re looking to get robbed, look no further. This famous beach in Rio de Janeiro is best known for its high petty crime rate. Along with stolen wallets and digital cameras, visitors also complain that the sandy shores are incredibly dirty and busy. Some visitors would just rather live on the wild side.
Fraser Island: Australia
If traveling to Fraser Island, hide your baby – it could get eaten by a dingo. For real. The adorable furry animals are not exactly something you want to cuddle up with. They will eat your face off and feel no remorse. While the population is pretty low – roughly 200 roam in up to 30 packs – dingoes are still out there, which is reason enough for us to park our chairs elsewhere.