This “menu”–for lack of a better term–that’s scribbled on a crack house wall is making its rounds on the internet this morning, and I have to admit that I’m really intrigued. I was never really interested in crack houses before, but now I feel a serious urge to know more.
Before we begin, read the thing first.
Crazy right?
Like, how the f*ck does a crack ho’ have better handwriting than me? But that’s just the first of many, many questions that I have. Here are some others:
• Why is butt stuff only $2 more when my girlfriend won’t even do it when I take her out for a $100/plate dinner?
• What is a “Big Dog?” Is it your dog? Is it my dog? Why am I paying you to have sex with a dog when I could be the one getting Crystal’s sweet, sweet loving?
• What’s with the extra .50 for the Big Dog?
• Why don’t we need condoms? Is it because I’ll instantly die after having intercourse with Crystal?
• Is the brown bag a condom?
• Is it cheaper if I have a smaller dog?
